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Please help.....

I'm so miserable. I'm on a constant emotional rollercoaster. When things with my husband are good they're great but every now and then (which is becoming more often) We have a dissagreement. And even when i have physical evidence that he's lying about what we're fighting about he just screams bloody murder, even if our 2 year- old is standing right there, he doesn't care. and he knows ill just walk away when he does that because i dont want my daughter to be around that kind of behavior. I love him very much and dont want to leave him....but this is just becoming emotionally draining.....advice? marrige counseling didnt help....and he wont see a personal phychaiatrist because he thinks he doesn't HAVE ANY anger problems.....So like i said....advice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:53 PM on Aug. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • When your ready. Leave him. I does not sound like he will change.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:57 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Divorce isn't the answer to everything!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • I know he won't change.....and i guess im still clinging to the hope that he will grow up one day since he is still fairly young and stupid......im just at a loss......
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Finding a good counselor that works for doesn't always happen on the first try. You two need to go back and try again. Most of this is a communication issue, but he also needs to recoginze that that behavior is angry and manipulative. Good for you for walking away with your kid, but don't be afraid to continue the discussion after she goes to bed. He thinks he has you by doing that, so don't let it go.
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 8:15 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • I agree with mrs pulley...sometimes it takes a few tries to find a good counselor that will be able to help you. And continuing the discussion after she is in bed, or even better, if you can get someone (say, grandma or Aunt Sue) to take her for a couple of hours so she's not even in the house for him to even ATTEMPT to wake her or use her in any way, could stop the behavior.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:21 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • I think a lot of men use yelling as a defense mechanism, meaning they got caught and don't know how to get off the hook other than acting like a mad man. And he is counting on you backing down at that point and the whole thing blowing over. But you already know this. Question is how much of this will you put up with. If you catch him lying about something on a regular basis, there's gotta be something he keeps doing that you don't agree with. You have two options here if you don't want this to continue (and teach your daughter that this kind of relationship is okay), either get used to whatever it is he is lying about, or draw a line and don't let him cross it anymore. Tough choices, both of them.
    McMom0209

    Answer by McMom0209 at 8:36 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • im in the same situation. let me know if u find the answer.. GL
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:40 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • if you know he's going to react that way then why not avoid the fight. If you know he is lying then confronting him is just going to make him angry. SO used to lie all the time and I told him it is so stupid and unnecessary. I know when he lies. I just laugh at him and go on. I don't want to fight so I let it go. Unless it's something extremely important, I wouldn't make a big deal over it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:43 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

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