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Spin-off from a popular question- AM I WRONG FOR BEING PISSED OFF

OP HERE--- Hey guys.... I am from a step family myself so I know what its like, luckily both sides of my family get along. My dad lives in canada and me and my mom live in PA. It goes as far as my dad and his wife staying at our residence, which I understand is very rare that ex's get along so well. But with that being said, thats what I grew up with and I would very much like to try my hardest to get along with his son's mother. Right now, my SO is feeling very shot down. He feels like everytime he tries to put that smile on his sons face it gets ripped from beneath him, which I understand completely. At christmas time, we get to see him only AFTER he opens mommy's presents and she said its because hes with her all the time. Now I have a hard time with that one, because my SO would like to spend christmas morning with his son as well. And I probably have the biggest problem with it because no matter.... cont...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Aug. 13, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (26)
  • Unfortunately its very sad for both the parent and the child but keep the faith that eventually children grow up into adults and they do eventually see the real side of things and realize who cared about them.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 9:22 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • How much time I spent with either side during the year, if I was living in Canada with my dad and it was my moms christmas, then they flew me to her and vice versa. Shes very greedy when it comes to special occasions and wants to be the center of attention. My step son is 5 years old, and now it will be the norm for him to be with his mother on birthdays and christmas because she has made it that way, he now doesn't WANT to come to our house because he knows mommy has big and better presents then what we can provide for him. I was taught its about the time and having the special people surround you and having a good time. My SO is feeling like his son will never love him the same because of what she buys him, right now to him, mom is his hero because she gets him what she wants. Daddy is nothing because he doesn't buy EVERYTHING
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Sounds like the mother of the boy is making him into a spoiled rotten monster, teaching him no morals or values whatsoever and wants to use him as leverage against your SO. What he needs to do is grow a pair and tell her to knock her shit off, it's his son too. All the mother is doing is teaching that young boy that all that matters in life is material objects....and that is BULL SHIT. Your man needs to stand up for himself AND his son before it's too late.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • he will only feel that way while hes young, once he gets older he will know its about family. i dont know his mother, so i dont know the other circumstances, but i know that i feel like my son will be with me every christmas and holiday because im his mother, i carried him for 9 months, i gained 60 pounds, i let them cut me open to take him out, i breast fed him etc. and i want him with me.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:25 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • So butterfly, you feel that because you are his mother, you can completely forget about the father. And need I mention, without the father you wouldnt have that child in the first place? Your love comes before another parents love instead of it being equal?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Oh and I should also tell you, I carried my DD for 9 months, I gained 60 lbs, I let them cut me open to take her out, Im with her 24/7, but that doesnt change the fact that my SO is still her father and she needs to see both parents on a holiday, not just one. That my friend is called selfish
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • IF HE IS YOUR SO THEN IT DOESN"T MATTER BECAUSE YOU ARE TOGETHER GENIUS!!!!
    SO= significant other.....we are talked about SEPARATED couples and the children they have together. Who the hell put sandpaper on your toilet seat or pissed in your cheerios today???? Get over yourself....quickly.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • It all depends on the situation. I refuse to let my sons father get him for Christmas and any other major holiday but that is because he only wants to see him during those times to play a good "daddy" in front of his family. The rest of the year is spent me sending him text messages and calling him asking him when he's going to see my son. So in my situation I think I am doing what I have to do. As for what you said, your husband tries to be a father and while it's unfair like I said in my first reply the child will grow up and eventually will see the real side and will be able to choose.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 9:39 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Yes you are right we are talking about separated couples. I am saying IF we ever separated, which I am sure we will, then no matter what I am still going to share the holiday. BECAUSE ITS SELFISH NOT TO. You get over yourself.... faster then I need to
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • KalebsMommee that is very selfish and wrong. YOu're only punishing your child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

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