Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

do you think i'm wrong?

I've been with my bf for 4 years and we have a 2 year old. We are happy and love each other but there is all this pressure that we should get married. In my opinion I never want to get married to him or anybody else. I think it's a wast of money and overrated. what's your opinion?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:23 PM on Aug. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Its a wise choice, I was supposed to get married and called it off once I seen the money it was going to cost.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • My opinion is that it is your life and you only have one so live it the way you want to but make smart choices. Choices that make sense for you and that benefit your child.

    What are the pros and cons of getting a marriage certificate? What does it mean for your child that his parents aren't married? Think down the road not just now. How about when you want to apply for a house? How about when your child goes to school? Papers mean something, think about it and choose what is best for you and your child.

    Answer by bebita at 10:29 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Up to you about the whole marraige thing, BUT if it's the cost thats stopping you thats different. We got married for ten dollars by the JOP and then friends threw us an impromptu party at the pub we all hung out at. If was perfect and cheap and memorable.

    I wanted to be a wife, never a bride. I never dreamt of the big wedding like my friends. My sister just did what I did, and then hopped on a plain for a 4 day honeymoon. She was thrilled to have no debt going into the marraige, like us.

    Answer by scout575 at 10:32 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • i think your short changing yourself and your future. for instance if you married in youretire you can get half of your husbands ss. or if you guys were married ten yrs then divorced you'd could claim part of his social security and alimony. when your not then you get nothing. in the long run if you just paid $10 to get married is well worth the money you get for having been married to him. you may think it will never happen but why risk it. also to me it shows a level of true love and showing of his commitment to you. i mean to me in my opinion it's like this theray i have heard. why buy the milk when you can get the milk for free. if your not the one to marry then it may not apply to you but i bet you bf isn't saving yes baby marry me. i bet he is going along with your idea. i think you should think of your future and your retirement. i mean why let the givernment hold on to his other half of social that your entitled too.

    Answer by melody77 at 10:46 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • Don't do it unless you decide it's something you want for your own reasons. You said're happy and you love each other. End of story...let everyone else stress on it if they feel like it, this is your life to live, not theirs. You don't owe any explanations to anyone.

    Answer by chocolatluver at 11:08 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • I think it's a way to show that you are responsible and are willing to really commit to someone and truly love and respect them. But to each his own.

    Answer by feesharose at 11:32 PM on Aug. 13, 2009

  • I've been married since I was 18 years old. I am now 63. It has been the most blessed relationship that I could ever have imagined. It has not been easy, but it is a place of unconditional love and undying commitment. I don't think you can ever have that by just co-habiting with a man. I also think that when it is all said and done, your children will not be as secure and they will have suffered in ways that you cannot imagine because their parents were never married. The home was founded on the basis of marriage, of vows being spoken before God and witnesses. Somehow, somewhere, someone got the idea that it really wasn't necessary, but as I said, when it is all said and done, I think there is going to come a fresh realization that the commitment of marriage really does make for a more stable home and for better adjusted children who, lo and behold, grow into adults. I would not trade places with anyone.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:11 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • Make sure you understand the difference between a MARRIAGE and a WEDDING.

    Marriage is the legal binding. The wedding is the celebration, which can be as lavish or simple as you want...down to only standing in front of a judge and saying "I do" and getting the paperwork.

    Sounds like the wedding is what you want to avoid. And you can. Marriage does provide a lot of benefits, legally and financially, so you might consider going to the courthouse and at least getting the legalities out of the way.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:23 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.