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Im stuck and dont know what to do......

My husband and I have a very smart two and a half yr old who has a speech delay. We were offered free of charge to send him to a little preschool when he turns 3 with 7 other children in the class where they have story time, play time, song time and they help with speech, colors, numbers ect. all in two and a half hrs. Every thing sounds great except we would be sending a child to school who can not tell mommy and daddy if something bad happend in shcool, like if another kid bit him or hit him I would have no idea. My child can handle him self trust me hes sadly the bully if any thing but just the fact that he cant talk scares me sending him away for almost three hours a day mon.-fri.. My husband is leaning towards not sending him and just having other kids come over more often so that he gets the child interaction. Any thoughts cause I want to do whats best for my baby but at the same time I have to protect him.


Asked by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 8:28 AM on Aug. 14, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • You're right, every time you turn around, you do hear about a teacher or other adult responsible for a child doing something bad to the child. But then again, we hear about it because it's news - meaning something out of the ordinary :-) Think about it, we don't really hear about the literally thousands of kids a day that are NOT mistreated or neglected by their adults :-)

    I understand your concerns, and not wanting to throw him in the deep end to sink or swim so to speak. But the thing is, if you let him go, and you monitor and supervise, then you aren't throwing him in, you're letting him edge his way into the pool, with you holding his hand and guiding his steps along the way. Because, as scary as it seems, one day, he's going to be grown, and he will need to be able to survive in that water, and this way, while he's still little, you can be there in it next to him, making the process easier for him :-)


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:16 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • My ds had a speech problem, and is also very advanced. When he was about the same age, he went to an organized play group that helped with the same things. He also had some other issues (ADHD being the big one). There was a time when he was having some problems, and even though he couldn't verbalize them, we could tell by his behavior there was a problem. So, I went and observed through a window in the door. (The Director knew we were there, the teacher knew we would be doing this sometimes, but she didn't know when, and our ds didn't know at all.)

    We saw what was going on, pointed it out to the teacher (there was another boy that would take my ds's toy, then, my ds would take it back, then he would take it again, my ds would take it back again and yell, the boy would tell on my ds, who would get in trouble for taking his toy...)

    When we pointed out what we saw, the problem was solved and she watched closer.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:35 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I have a 3 1/2 yr old in the same situation. Hes very very smart but with a bit of a speech delay. I also have 3 older kids too so Ive done this before. The likelyhood of him having major issues such as someone hitting him or abusing him is very very slim. There will likely be two teachers there and they catch 99% of what goes on. Especially if theres only 7 other kids. Its only half days too. Thats plenty of time. I really think that youre worrying about nothing and you did sayhe could handle himself. I think you will be surprised at how well he really can communicate even without words. Dont hold him back from doing something that could really help him because of your fears. I do suggest that you relay these fears to his teachers. They can really watch for the things your concerned about and reassure you. This is not to be critical of what youre feeling, but I think your looking for an excuse not to send him. Ive done it!!!!

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:35 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • cont

    Once she started watching closer, partly, I think, because she then saw it for herself (and so did her boss who was standing there with us), but also because she knew that we were "on top of things" and were paying attention.

    He ended up having a great time.

    Basically, I would research them, I would ask about the screening process for teachers and staff, and I would ask about the opportunity to observe the classroom, or to volunteer in the classroom or facility (they might not want you right in the room if it's a distraction, but you can be in the building and sort of observing from a distance). If you stay on top of it, and if you know your son and it's a reputable facility, it should be ok.

    If, after a few weeks, you don't think he's happy (give it a bit so he can adjust to the new environment), then you can always pull him.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:38 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • Having your child in a playgroup that's geared to helping kids with speech delays will be more beneficial than having kids over to play. The teachers are trained to deal with this and really encourage speech/communication. Early intervention is so important and I really think it would be a mistake to miss out on what sounds like a great opportunity. Like the pp noted, there will most likely be two teachers, or a teacher and an assistant and it is only 2 1/2 hours.

    Answer by missanc at 8:42 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • OP.... thank you both for responding and let me just say that Its more my husband not wanting him to go and not me, Im still undecided and thats why I asked this ?. Of course Im not ready for my son to go to school at only 3 yrs old what mom would be but I do whats best for him and right now Im 50/50 on my decision for very good reasons. Its almost like throwing him out there when no one else understands him and cant verbally defend him self. Does that make sense? Oh and trust me I will have a sit down with the teacher for sure because my son is very aggressive with other children because hes not around them often and I want to know how they will handle that.

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 8:48 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • OP... I already home shcool him so Im not worried if I decided to keep him home its just he will be missing out on the child interaction which I really want him to have.

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 8:50 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • Are you trained in special education? I know the teachers that worked with my kids were, and even though I have my teaching cert, I'm not qualified to teach special ed - they had a lot more knowledge, education, and tools at their disposal than I would have had if I had homeschooled them and just had kids over

    Answer by missanc at 9:47 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I would send him . The teachers will be there if something happens. You might even be able to stand outside the door, hidden from his view and watch him....PLUS you will know (give it a month because it is a new thing) if he hates it or loves it. When you try to take him if he screams bloody murder he hates it. But remember give him some time to adjust. Remember teachers know what they are doing and they can handle the problems. I have had my own daycare and have been a classroom mom many times. Your kids are much better behaved for other people than they are for you


    Answer by justgrape723 at 11:31 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • 2 1/2 is old enough to communicate. If something happens there's no reason he can't show you where he got hit or point out a booboo. My daughter is 2 and will come home with a bit and tell me who did it. But she still points and shows me. So I think you can have some comfort there. Most people aren't out to get our kids. Have a little trust, but just keep an eye out for marks or suddend attitude chagnes. Most day cares will send home slips that tell you what they did and how they acted and will have an incident report should anything happen that you need to sign. Give it a few weeks and see how it goes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Aug. 14, 2009