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Would anyone feel uncomfortable with their husband volunteering to coach girls HS tennis?

My husband is 31, average to above average looking and in good shape. I think it's a terrible idea and that he's asking for trouble. He isn't even a HS teacher, he teaches middle school.

Besides the issue of being around young women in short shorts, I feel our life is too busy for him to waste time doing something that isn't going to benefit anyone in our family.

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Asked by acarr0711 at 8:39 AM on Aug. 14, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (28)
  • wow, they just arrested a guy his age near here recently for having sex with girls he coached. I hope your dh is a better man than that but why ask for trouble? Good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I wouldn't have a problem with it unless you have other reasons to suspect that he would be messing around. And while this might not directly benefit you now, it could benefit you in the long run. For example, the last school district we lived in, and the school district where my aunt teaches - not the same district, and not even in the same part of the country - are both doing major cutbacks. (We were in WA and she is in OH) Even teachers with so called "secure" spots and some with tenure are being let go.

    If he's able to show that he's going above and beyond, not just teaching his class but coaching, being an adviser for a club or extracurricular, etc, it could give him an edge when it comes to competing for the jobs / promotions / pay raises.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:43 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • Well, I guess it would depend on how you felt about your DH. My husband is 35 and looks like hes 28 and I would have no problem with it. Hes a good coach and can literally coach any sport. We do have a highschool girl anyway so likely she would be on the team before he volunteered. I know my husband well enough to know that he would never do anything inappropriate or behave in a manner that is unacceptable. I do understand the time thing....We dont have a lot of it either.

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:45 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • In our town there was a running joke that the highschool tennis teacher was a perv - and then he was arrested for sexual assault.

    I'm not saying your husband is anything like that, but I just don't think anything good can come from a grown man teaching tennis to hot young girls in cute skirts.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:45 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • No, it wouldn't bother me that he was coaching highschool girls. I, and anyone else that knows my dh, knows better than to think his head could be turned by a cute girl in a skirt. Also, having a daughter who will be that age before too long - he knows how their dads feel.
    And I've never known a HS tennis team to be coached by anything other than a man. It might bother me that he was spending more time away from our family, but what he was doing with his time wouldn't.

    Answer by missanc at 8:49 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • Not at all. As a matter of fact, my husband is a part time Assistant coach at the college we use to go to. They go away some weekends for track meets. I fully trust him. He has given me no reason to become suspicious of him messing with the girls.

    Answer by 2princesnaKing at 8:50 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • So what about women who coach or teach? Should, for example, a woman not help coach boys soccer, because she just won't be able to resist all those firm young studs?

    Yes, there are some that are perverts - on both sides. But I would hope that you wouldn't be married to a man that you couldn't trust better than that. Because if that's the case, I have to say, I have a teenage daughter, and I know what some of those girls are wearing at the Jr Highs, too, and who knows what he's doing on his lunch break or during his planning period, after all...

    Either he's a good man and you trust him, or he's not. Honestly, it's that simple.

    Now, if it's an issue of he's spreading himself too thin and never home, that's a different story, but I would hope that would apply to a boys team as well as a girls team.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:52 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I just know that it happens. Although it seems sick, men for centuries have always been attracted to younger girls. I also think that even if he is innocent there is a chance someone could flirt with him and if he rejected them could make acccusations out of resentment. You hear about incidents like that actually happening.
    As far as the trust issue, it doesn't help that he likes attention and has gotten himself into trouble having a relationship(friendship) with a single female coworker. He was texting on a regular basis and hiding it. They were even texting throughout the day while they were teaching which I think makes it even worse.

    Answer by acarr0711 at 9:01 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • It wouldn't make me uncomfortable, but I'd always be worried. Not because of him but what others spread around, whether it be the parents, students or athletes themselves.

    We had a male tennis coach that coached the girls team, he was a teacher at the school and a group of girls got together and falsely accused him of touching them. All charges were dropped when the girls started to deviate from their original stories, but it still ruined his reputation, teaching career, and his family. I would hate for anyone and their families to be put through that kind of humiliation.

    Answer by momtotrips at 9:13 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • Why would having a friendship with someone, male or female, get him in trouble?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

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