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how can i get my 3 and one half year old to bed at adescent hour without a fight and without him in my bed?

i have tried everything. sleeping with him. in a chair in his room, sleeping outside his door to tell him to go back to bed when he's up. he will alonely go to slep if with me and i get to bed with him. one night took me 3 hours to get him to bed and walked him back to his ed 25 times. help !!!


Asked by UNLUCKYATLOVE at 8:53 AM on Aug. 14, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (8)
  • The routine thing does work , it took me 2 weeks to get Samantha used to this but I am glad I did it. We eat dinner at 6:00, bath at 6:30, then story time at 7:00, I snuggle her for about 10 mins & then she lays there & goes to sleep. She would occasionally wake up and try to get in my bed but I'd take her back to her room, lay w/her for like 5 mins. & she'd go back to sleep. Also if he does not already have a blanket with his favorite character on it I'd buy him one. Hope this helps.

    Answer by mama2005 at 3:16 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • start early.. like this is what we do.. 5:30-6 supper, 6-6:30 bath time, then its off to bed.. let him CIO, put a baby gate in front of his door so he cant get out and he will break mama.. you have to do this everynight no exceptions.. by 7pm he should be in his room working on going down.. turn all the lights off.. go to your room and turn off the motitor and read... he will get it but it will take time.. stand your ground..

    Answer by ArlieBeeMee at 9:17 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • Put him to bed and tell him he is not allowed to come out of his room. If he does give his bottom a couple of swats and put him right back. This nothing more than a power struggle. My little girl use to try this and after 2 nights of getting swatted a few times she got it and stayed in her bed. We are moms not slaves to our children. We have to get our rest too so that we can take care of them all day.

    Answer by treynlisa at 9:18 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • You don't have to spank him or swat his butt... just keep taking him back to bed. The first time remind him it's bedtime. After that say nothing. My DD gets put to bed, we know she gets up after and plays but it's fine because she goes to bed when she's ready. She does not come out either. You just need to be firm and consistent. Let him know your new bedtime routine, then stick to it. Brush teeth, read book, lights out. It might take a day, a week, a month even, but don't back down or you'll never get it done.


    Answer by Navymama at 11:29 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • get a routine. we have dinner(5-6) go outside and run around for a while(6-6:30) then bath time(6:30-7) then we go into his room and read a few books(i let him pick out the books he wants to be read), after the books i kiss him good night and tell him to stay laying down and close his eyes. He did cry and tried to get up the first week but we would put him back and tell him good night again. it finally stuck.

    Answer by acjadams at 11:47 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • Something that helped my now 6 yr old daughter when I was going through this with her was giving her my pillow. She found my pillow to be comforting. I was due for a new one, so I passed mine, pillow case and all, with my scent, to her. We also made a big deal each night of mom hugging and kissing the pillow, "filling it up" with lots of love for her. After about 3 days, she was fine about going to bed with nothing more than cuddling during her bedtime story.

    Good luck to you. each child is different in what will work. Hope you find something that works for you!

    Answer by jadzia1182 at 2:21 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • just be consistent- start with a bed time routine bath, book, hugs then bed.
    also let him know its bed time ahead of time.
    if he gets out of bed tell look him in the eye & say its bed time then put him back into bed.
    If he continues to get out say nothing to him just simply keep putting him back into bed.
    this will take will power & time, but it does work. I have a 2.5 year old who now stays in bed
    and I also have a 11yr old, 6.5 year old and a new born.
    once he stays in bed with no issues let him know what a big boy he is.

    Answer by maiahlynn at 4:56 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I agree with the routine. It took a couple of days to get my kids in the habit, but after that, we don't have problems anymore. But, my children were never allowed to sleep in my bed. That is mostley because they kick and hog the bed.

    Answer by beckyjoe at 10:07 PM on Aug. 17, 2009