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What would you have done in this situation?

Okay, here's the situation-I agreed to take one of my daughter's friends home ( for the remainder of the week) after a summer camp they are both attending. Well, Tuesday they walked out together, I drove her home and assumed it would be the same for the rest of the week. The following day, my daughter comes out minus the friend and tells me that her "friend" decided to go home with another friend.

Now, this is where I want to know what you would've done! Yesterday, once again,my daughter came out by herself. She (my daughter) tells me to drive on because the friend did not make it clear who she was riding with. She insisted that we drive on. We're halfway home when this kid texts my daughter asking where we are!! I asked my daughter if she'll be able to get a ride and her response was...she (the friend) said she'll find a ride!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Aug. 14, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • Sounds like they had a lil tiff-or more. I would personally wait for the friend to come out or go in myself and ask the friend. I've been there. Something is definately up!
    auntj

    Answer by auntj at 10:09 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • If I say I'm going to take them home I do, I just ran into this a couple weeks ago with my kids. I was to be taking the friend home and they went with someone else. I called his parents the kid was to come to my house till his parents got home. I have made my son go back in and get the boy that ws to be coming with us, He said I'm going with so-in-so. Only if i talk to your mom or dad.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I would not drive away and make sure that this girl has a ride home. Your daughter might be jealous that her friend has another friend at the camp. Check with this girl to see if she has a ride home
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 10:15 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I want to add that this girl does her own thing and the mom never did call me to confirm any of this! And when the friend didn't walk out with my daughter, like the day before, my daughter just assumed it was another no-show!

    But you're correct, I should have waited!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • Talk to the girl's parents. If they say that they want you to pick her up, then that's what you do, regardless of what the girl wants.
    Instead of waiting outside, go in and get them both.
    quorleeba

    Answer by quorleeba at 11:38 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I have had this happen to me before too. First of all if the agreement was made with the friend, then you need to talk to the friend and say politely...I dont mind taking you home at all, but I have a schedule to keep, so be out here by so and so time. That way, youre letting her know that she doesnt have to hang out with your child, but if she expects you to bring her home, she needs to respect your time. If the agreement was made with the parent, then she doesnt have a choice. If she chooses to not go, then you need to call her mom and tell her whats going on. I dont force my dd's friends to tell their parents details because thats between them, but if the mother or father SPECIFICALLY states that they want this or that, then thats what I do, regardless of what the child wants. It does sound like her and your dd had a bit of a tiff, but still be willing to take her home...if she is on time. Good luck!
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 11:51 AM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I would have called the girls parents if I had an arrangement with them to pick her up.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 1:21 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I always talked directly to the parents in these situations. If the parent told me that I was to be the one responsible for getting the child home, then I aimed to make sure that child rode with me. That usually worked very well. There was the one time when the girl didn't show up at the pick-up point, so I called her mother and asked her what I was supposed to do. If the parents are expecting you to see to it that the child gets to where she is supposed to be, then I always took it that I was a proxy for the parent and I didn't allow any variations from the plan unless the parent okayed them. It's just too much liability being responsible for someone else's child.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:25 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • No way would I leave. I have had my daughter do the same thing I refuse to leave until I have talked to the parent to make sure that they are OK with her going with someone else. It makes my daughter mad but I made a promise to the other parent that would pkup.
    erinsmom1130

    Answer by erinsmom1130 at 4:01 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • Well if there was no arrangement between you and her parents, you really have no responsibility. I am sure your like me and would just like to know that she is safe, so go in yourself and talk with her. I know my daughter would be upset if they had a fight and I expected her to go find out, so I would just take care of it myself to ease my mind about her safety, and then not worry about it.
    erinsmom1130

    Answer by erinsmom1130 at 4:07 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

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