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Dad banned from tumbling class

I take my 3 year old niece 2 times a week to gym class, the parents are required to stay there the whole time. There is a young father there, who to me only appears to be about 19 or 20. His son is not behaved very well, and the dad is always telling him no throughout the whole class, but doesn't really follow up with any discipline. Well I always heard the other moms comments about him, and the instructor is kinda snippy and told him "we don't really like to have teen parents kids here, teens simply do not know how to parent at all, so we would appreciate you not coming back". The poor dad looked so humilated and I really thought what she said was uncalled for. I know it was a disruption, but his son is in my neices preschool as well, and at least he is in his childs life and trying to be a dad. Would it be inappropriate for me to offer some advice to him, or should I talk to the gym? I dont what to step on any toes! Advice?


Asked by WishyClarkson at 1:14 PM on Aug. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 9 (305 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • that poor man. I would talk to both. So what if you step on some toes you'd be doing the right thing and what a blessing you would be for both the child and the parent. Someone who doesn't just think he's a loser, and what a witch I know plenty of parents of many ages that don't discpline their children (not following thru) so she was being judgemental and to do it in PUBLIC, VERY UNPROFESSIONAL.
    And to anon 1:19, just by being on CafeMom you should have a pretty good idea of just how catty and judgemental other parents can be.
    Please OP, stand up for this guy. I bet he feels like a total dummy and failure.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 2:12 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • That's rude and very judgmental. >:[
    It's true on what you said, at least he's in the boy's life and doing the best that he can. I don't know very many teen dads who really want to go to a tumbling class full of judgmental women! Grrr.
    I would offer him advice - or you could arrange a play date or..whatever. :]

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 1:18 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • My guess is you heard it wrong. I would bet they never said Teen parents. Either that or you are putting words in the instructors mouth!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • Sounds like the other parents need the advice on how to tolerate others. Sure, I would talk to him, he probably is having a rough time being young and all.

    Answer by LuvMyBoyzz at 1:19 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • That is the exact words this instructor used, she was never very patient to begin with, but all in attendace heard her say this, because instead of waiting to talk to him in private she did it in front of everyone, saying that too many of the moms were complaining about his kid disrupting the class and that was thier policy .

    Answer by WishyClarkson at 1:25 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • He needs to put a complaint in to the manager. He may need some support with that but that is horrible what she said. He needs a friend some guidence. If he is trying to discipline and not following through maybe ask him if he needs some help with that as well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • tell administration that the instructor was extremely rude to a parent and you witnessed it. that father has a right to be there, if he wasn't screaming down at his kid then nothings was wrong except the instructor has no patience and should even be teaching.
    you could also go to dad and tell him you witnessed his dismissal and if he wants to make a complaint you'll side with him. Oh and hey how about our kids play together too?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • oh that poor man!!!!!! i feel so bad for him, i agree with you at least he is trying! i wouldnt offer advice but i would tell him that if he needs to talk he can talk to you and not to be discouraged by that mean instructor! and also talk to the gym!

    Answer by pookipoo at 1:34 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • How rude! It sounds like he needs parenting classes, but to kick him out of the class just because he's a teen dad??? That's just wrong.

    Answer by Fallaya at 3:01 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I would talk to the mgmt of the gym and tell them how upset YOU were that he was treated this way. I'm with the other that I think it's great a young dad was stepping up and "trying" to do the right thing. Maybe if you set up some playdates with him you could model appropriate parenting and ask him how he handles discipline as a way of sharing some good ideas with him.

    Answer by missanc at 3:09 PM on Aug. 14, 2009