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How do I not let my son get to me?

I have a 17 year old son. He is very lazy. won't hold a job, won't help out around the house. He just lays in bed all day & demands things ( money, rides to friends etc.) but doesn't contribute to anything. He gets away with a lot of it becuase his dad doesn't help out with him. So he thinks becuase he is 17 he doesn't have to listen to me. He knows how to push my buttons, and has even admitted that he will argue just to upset me. What can I do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Aug. 14, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • Kick his ass out the second he turns 18. For now, stop giving him any money or rides. Until he can respect you, he doens't need any of that. If he starts pushing your buttons, get in the car and go for a drive, leaving him home with no ride or money to go anywhere.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • sounds like hes WANTING attention...even the negative stuff...try to shut him off in one way (like no more rides, money..ect) but give him attention in other ways...like talking to him at dinner time...taking him out to do something..just him and you...maybe that will help
    blueeyedgrl2377

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 3:58 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • Go on Strike! He does nothing so you do nothing as well! When he asks for something just say, sorry honey I am on strike! It worked for us. Hopefully he will get the idea.
    dillonsma

    Answer by dillonsma at 4:59 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I think you just described my 17 year old DD, Last night I told her the hotel and restaurant were closed, she had two choices, participate in the family or there is the door. She choose the door, I know where she is and that she is safe, but it was a very hard decision and not what I was hoping for, but I have to stand by what I said. I know she will come home at some point and when that happens she will have rules contract she will have to follow or she will be out and the next time she won't be coming back.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 5:43 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I agree with the lady that says go on strike... Dont do anything for him... dont clean his room. dont cook his meals... dont wash his clothes.. dont do ANYTHING>. MATTER -A- FACTSINCE HE IS SO GROWN that HE DOESNT HAVE TO LISTEN.... START CHARGING HIM RENT. LOL. hes got to learn some responsibility now before he hits adulthood.. GIVE HIM A REALITY CHECK.
    ladiesfirst

    Answer by ladiesfirst at 7:56 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • He can demand all he wants. It's up to you if you give into it though. If you don't give him money, rides, or freedoms, then he has to earn them. Stop doing his laundry, and don't pick up after him. He'll eventually figure out his slovenly ways are only going to be his downfall.
    Mom2theboy1994

    Answer by Mom2theboy1994 at 11:26 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • A 17 year old should be preparing to work without mommy's money. My son is 14, and already talking about getting a job. Tell him to get a job, or better yet, bring home some applications. If he's doing this lazy stuff now, trust me it will get worse. I know a 24 year old, and his mom still take care of him.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 11:57 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • You need to stop waiting on him. You are his mother not the maid. He'll get the clue eventually.
    alilcoy

    Answer by alilcoy at 1:40 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • take everything you bought for him !
    yoshiwife

    Answer by yoshiwife at 5:03 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • just don't do him anymore favors . until he decides to straighten himself out. whats good for one is good for the other.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 5:29 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

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