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Do you let your kids "play fight"?

My brothers wife has a problem with my son (4 y/o) play fighting but yet her girls were playing some for "I Carly fighting" today, and the 5 year old kicked the 3 year old in the head this morning because she wouldn't move and then later the 3 year old got her back. Both got cracked on the left ear. So they do it too and worse. But it's a big deal that my son kicked all 4 of us when he was trying to get us to fight with him. She don't have boys and has been picking apart my sons normal boy behavior. I am peeved. Her nephew is the same way but nothing is said. They're just boys right? Climbing, jumping, rough housing, dart guns...


Asked by ThatBoysMom at 5:05 PM on Aug. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • Our kids have foam swords and squirt guns. Swords are only allowed to hit swords, and you're only allowed to squirt people if they have a squirt gun. My kids rough house with their daddy though. He picks them up and wrestles with them. And their Uncle Mark plays rough with them too. It's a boy thing. My boys rough house around in their room (not in the living room as things gets knocked over). They have a blast pretending to be transformers, spiderman, the x-men, the incredible hulk . . .etc. They're usually pretty good about playing rough without hurting each other. Occasionally, they get too rough. But it's never serious. We have the kids apologize and they go on their way.

    Answer by jollymommy at 7:14 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I do but it is very limited and I make sure he isn't trying to play fight with someone who doesn't have any interest in play fighting back. It isn't playing if only one person is swinging.

    Answer by sillyt at 5:14 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I have a boy and let me tell you that I see at his pre-school the children who get into trouble are the ones who are allowed to hit (pretend play or not) once violence has being introduced the poor teachers are left with very little resource but to put kids in time out. In severe cases they get kick out of classes. There are so many constructive ways to teach children pretend play that fighting just seem in my humble opinion lazy parenting. Violence is never acceptable way of teaching, how about boundaries crossed, hyper children need the physical activity but not the hitting unless it is as a supervised sport wearing protective gear and supervised by a trained professional. One child in my son's child care got seriously injured by another "boy who just was being a boy" tell that to the poor parents who have medical bills, legal fees and a lawsuit in their hands because it was all fun until blood came out.

    Answer by bebita at 5:26 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I have 4 boys and 3 girls I do not let them play fight. I hate when they wrestle. I am always afraid someone will get hurt then it will turn into a real fight.


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • Its not just the boys. I have a 3 yr old daughter and 5 yr old(on monday) son...they both rough house pretty good. We have set rules and literally a list of things that we don't say while playing...or ever in our house. For example, no "I'm gonna kill you" or "I hate you"...they are not allowed to play with toy guns. I just read a post about people letting their kids play with toy guns and I have to say...if my kids WANT to go hunting when they are old enough, they will have the proper training in the proper courses and have the proper equipment. We don't condone violent behavior and when the kids are starting to play too rough, we divide and conquer!

    Answer by clhadley at 5:40 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I do not have boys either, but I also do not attribute "play" fighting to just normal "boy" behavior either. I for one, will not allow my girls for any reason to pretend to fight one another. I just do not see why pretending to assert violent behavior would be acceptable for any child, regardless of their sex.

    There are so many things that children can do to expand and use their imaginations and IMO fighting should not be one of them.

    Answer by MommyMica at 6:05 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • We do, we use gloves and headgear and mouth guards. They also have wooden swords that they practice with. :)

    Answer by SusieD250 at 6:06 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • NO it just leads to real fighting!

    Answer by lapcounter at 6:08 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • I think that "play fighting" will eventually lead to real fighting. I baby sat twin 2 year old boys who always wanted to be the Hulk or Spider man or whomever but I would not allow it when my daughter or I were there. Allowing children to "play fight"teaches them that violence can be innocent and OK when in reality it is not. If an adult touches someone in jest and the other person doesn't like it they can press charges for assault even if the other person was "playing".....

    Answer by KaireasMommy at 7:55 PM on Aug. 14, 2009