People (the general public mostly, who aren't living this adoption life) are downright taken aback that an adoptee might have their own opinions about a decision that was made on their behalf, without their input. There is a general attitude that adoptees will accept that the decisions made were necessary, made in love, and in their best interests.
I know adoptees outraged:
* on behalf of their birth mothers
* on behalf of their adoptive parents
* at a society and laws that continue to treat adoptees as if they are forever children needing protection, and thus limited information that others take for granted (birth certificates, heritage, etc).
* at a system that placed differing values "prices" on adoptees based on the popularity of what type of child is deemed more in demand
* at people who profit on the loss in adoption (on all sides)
You can be outraged and still love your adoptive parents & birth parents.
Answer by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Aug. 14, 2009
Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 5:45 PM on Aug. 14, 2009
Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 5:50 PM on Aug. 14, 2009
Surprising? No. But I am prone to saying to a lot of people, not just adoptees, SUMO (suck it up and move on). Let me explain. When I worked with survivors of rape many let it rule their entire lives...even 20 years later. To the point where they were still living as a victim. I have lots of compassion and my job was to assist them in moving forward and to stop being a victim. I do think that many women and children are victims of our culture and the political policies that arise out of that dominant cultural thinking. For me the answer is a long battle. Which means not being a victim but to turn into an advocate for change. You may have been a single woman with little options and placed your child for adoption - and no doubt the most difficult life challenge you faced. But you faced it and survived. Instead of being a victim advocate for more educational opportunities for single moms/pregnant moms, more
Answer by frogdawg at 6:19 PM on Aug. 14, 2009
Answer by Southernroots at 6:20 PM on Aug. 14, 2009
Answer by frogdawg at 6:23 PM on Aug. 14, 2009
Answer by frogdawg at 6:25 PM on Aug. 14, 2009
Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 6:30 PM on Aug. 14, 2009
Answer by Southernroots at 6:34 PM on Aug. 14, 2009
Answer by Southernroots at 6:36 PM on Aug. 14, 2009
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