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Non-spanking moms: do you get tired of people telling you that if you don't spank your kids, that they will turn out to be unbehaved little brats?

So hitting a child makes them well-behaved, and not hitting them makes them spoiled brats? Is this true?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on Aug. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Yes, I do get tired of it, but then I see how well-behaved my kids are compared to their cousins. My older sister limits her spanking and my cousin who has children also spanks (they are the only ones I can really speak of because all of my other cousins and my other sister have no children yet). My kids are respectful, mannerly, and while they are 'spirited,' they DO respect me as a parent when it comes to discipline. It can get a little creative at times finding non-spanking ways to go about it, but I parent my way, and my way is working for me right now. I've always been gentle to children, though.

    I do yell, a lot, but I find nice ways to get my point across. I don't feel the need to raise my hand to a child, yet there are ways to discipline them without them becoming 'spoiled.' I don't believe in the bible, so the 'spare the rod' mantra doesn't mean much to me...
    ThaMCE

    Answer by ThaMCE at 3:59 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • I am a spanking mom, not as rule of thumb but have no problem spanking the bum on occasion, and do not think parents who don't spank have spoiled brats. Not all of mine have had a spanking, I think a lot of problems that parents of both sides of the fence have is that they don't always follow through, that leads to "spoiled brats" not your choice of discipline.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 11:45 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • At first as a brand new mom of my oldest I was totally against spanking and then did occassionally and with my second too. Spanking gently with a firm talk got better results than a spank gently and no talk or only a talk and no spank.

    Then came my third. Spanking didn't work on her. She became spoiled because I couldn't find a behavior enticing method for her that worked so for a while she was less disciplined and then for a while not at all. then I realized that setting limits with expectations and consequences explained in advance of poor behavior ended up bring more routinely good behavior.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

  • My parents didn't believe in spanking and we didn't turn out spoiled.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:14 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • My mother never laid a hand on me, I personally think that using your hands in a negative way to punish children can be damaging to them as they get older.
    My mother used the time out method on me as a youngster and in my tween and teen years, she would punish me by taking away my luxuries.. such as TV, internet, radio, dolls, anything I liked was banned lol.. She only allowed me books. It turns out that I now love to read and communicate a lot better than most people when it comes down to disagreements.
    I also believe that children who are spanked as punishment turn out to be less communicative, being bullied in school or vise versa and in fact may be more spoiled than children who arent spanked.
    Just my opinion though :)
    youngfirsttimer

    Answer by youngfirsttimer at 1:41 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • BTW, I was spanked as a child, and my mom is very surprised at how I can raise my kids without doing so. My dad was VERY irrational when it came to disciplining us, and I can honestly say that at most times, it was abuse. I just chose a different way to deal with it when I'm with my kids or watching other children.
    ThaMCE

    Answer by ThaMCE at 4:01 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • We don't spank my son and he tends to be more well behaved than most kids we know! No one that spends time with him says anything negative about the way we do things...most wish we would share our advice! We have a great system of taking away privileges, rather than hitting!
    shtteredprnces

    Answer by shtteredprnces at 7:18 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • well honestly some kids no matter what you do or don't do turn out that way. Seriously my brother has 5 kids. He doesn't even do timeouts. His oldest two got kicked out of their school in first grade cause the school could not do anything with them. Cause they hit and didn't listen. I have spanked my kids. But it's a last resort punishment. And I can count on my one hand how many times in the last 5-6 years I have spanked any one of my children.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 11:01 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • Why yes, I do! I take it as an insult to my kids, which is something you DON'T wanna do with this mama.

    My mom spanked me, and I was still a spoiled, smart mouthed, little brat. I actually favored my dad over my mom because he NEVER spanked me. But I am only one person, and do not account for the majority. Just as the kids who are not disciplined in any way account for those of us who do not spank.

    My kids are kids. They act out, they have attitude problems sometimes, and they do get disciplined. I simply choose not to spank.
    milfalicious08

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 1:12 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • No one has ever said that to me. We don't spank and we (so far, she is just 13) have an awesome kid.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:32 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

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