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No money and my DH is giving me the silent treatment, am I being too sensitive?

This no-money situation is only temporary and I tried to remind him of that but instead he chooses to not talk to me. I feel he is blaming me for something he created. I am the type that I rather save than spend. He has always been the spender, the gambler, the alcoholic, the one with the compusive behaviors. Let me see, the last time I bought myself a piece of garment was.....honestly I can't remember, I think it was sometime last year. I am wearing the same faded clothes I have been wearing since two years ago, the same shoes I bought 4 years ago. I couldn't even buy my daughter school clothes nor shoes. But yet, guess what..the $40 that was left after paying the mortgage, he spent it on a round of Golf. Have any of you had similar experiences? What would be your response?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:46 AM on Aug. 15, 2009 in Money & Work

Answers (7)
  • My SO had no self-control when it came to money
    which landed us in some awful credit card debt, more like him in debt, I have none.

    when we found out I was pregnant he said he needs help because he literally does not know how to budget, I guess No one taught him this.

    So I took over all of the bills. Cut up credit cards. Closed out unnecessary bank cards. Paid all debt collectors first, and got those payments out of the way, and the rest is spread to bills. If there is money left over we jointly decide where it goes and if we want to splurge on something or not.

    Basically he now knows how to do the books without me, I still check every once and a while to make sure everything is getting paid on time but he just need help, thats all, and Im glad he asked for it and put me in charge for a while because i was then able to get our heads above water.
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 2:05 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • Wow, Dom! Wonderful. You did beautifully. You are to be admired for sure. :)

    Maybe the OP can do something similar, be put in charge of all money for at least a while. and her husband gets an allowance. I suspect he'd have to understand that he has a problem. It isn't sensible to spend the last of the money like that when it is needed for necessities. Good luck OP!
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:09 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • He is being abusive and you should not put up with this.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:27 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • I think your husband is childish and immature and needs to step up to the plate and be a real man. My husband and I both lost our jobs in 2004, and by the time we had found new jobs, we had lost everything, except our home and our family. I wish I could believe our no-money situation is only temporary. The doctors took my husband out of work permanently last year because he only has 15% of one lung left functioning. After my back surgeries last year, the doctor told me I can no longer do the physical labored jobs I have done all my life. Hell, we're in worse financial shape now than we've ever been in our 21 years of marriage, but we are happier and more in love than ever. Any extra money we get is spent on our two teenagers, and thanks to financial aid I am now a full time student in biotechnology. Blaming others never solves problems. If your husband isn't willing to work with you on finding a solution you don't need him.
    ajeffery1032

    Answer by ajeffery1032 at 11:21 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • Goodness gracious,he sounds selfish and very abusive.First of all how can he not think about his child first.I have men coming in and buying school clothes for themselves.I am actually selling school clothes at this point.I can tell you that half of my customers are men.I would seriously get a job .Provide for you and your child or seperate seriously.How can anyone be more selfish.He won't provide for your child it is your responsiblilty.I think he is being abousive toward his child.Your responsiblity and his is to provide shelter,clothing,food,a good and loving environment.Basic necessities.I would be mad.My children all will have brand new school clothes and supplies that is me and my husbands responsibilty.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • If you'd like some way of earning some extra income, let me know. I'll share what I do from home. It allows me to stay home with my kids.
    NicoR

    Answer by NicoR at 10:09 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • Yes, I have been through that. It gets worse and he is now referred to as my ex-husband. Life has gotten much easier 7 laters later. (I put up with it for 18 yrs... it does NOT get better)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:39 AM on Aug. 16, 2009

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