Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

10 yr old girls?????

My daughter just turn 10 in july and she has so much going on at the same time that I dont know what to do or what to start with. To start things off I am more of a tom-boy, surf shorts, tank top and slippers and Im good but my daughter shes something ealse. She started to need bros, I never needed it untill I was in the 7th grd, she just started the 5th grd. Then the boys, she likes one of them in anyother school so thats kind of a good thing, cause she doesnt see hem much at all. I try to keep and open relationship with her and tell her that its ok to like him but not to have a boyfriend yet. School comes first. Now she wants all new clothes not just new but girly ones and the makeup and the nails, I was never like that and I dont know where its coming from. I want to do this right and not F*@# this up like so many of our parents did but how do I do that when she is nothing like I was.

Answer Question

Asked by rsmk808 at 3:52 AM on Aug. 15, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • My 4yr old is like that! She always wants makeup and nails and cool clothes and every time she plays with a boy she wants to hold hands and tells me she wants to marry him LOL

    Anyways, I don't think there's much you can do but educate her. This is why I want you to do this or don't want you to do that. Looks aren't important, education is. And tell her why. Ask her if she wants a nice house and clothes and a cool car when she's older. Let her know how to get that for herself. Let her know that if she holds out on the liking boys they will treat her better when the time is right. ETC...........

    Your baby is growing up and nowadays kids are having sex at very young ages. There are boys her age getting in trouble for raping and hurting girls, so even though we grew up in a different time, you really need to focus more on the mom role instead of the friend. Be honest about your feelings with her.

    Answer by tcarter1981 at 4:14 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • She's getting it from the other girls at school. Not sure what you can do. I'm the same way...major tomboy. I wear jeans and t-shirts (last time I wore a dress was to my fil's funeral in 2003). I have never worn make up and wouldn't even know how to put it on. The girliest thing I do is paint my toenails (just my toes) when I'm bored.
    So far my girls are pretty tomboyish. My oldest just turned 9 and says she hates girly stuff but I'm sure that will change in the next couple of years as her classmates start wearing makeup and liking boys. I have no clue what I will do because I don't think she needs makeup and won't buy it for her and will encourage her to spend her money on more important stuff.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 9:36 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • Tell her it is great that she wants to take care of her body and look good.  She is important and should look and feel good.  The American Girl Book, the Care and Keeping of You is good for pre-puberty girls 

    Then tell her, it is more important to feel good about yourself on the inside (in your heart).  If you are beautiful on the inside it will make her look more beautiful then make up can!  See these books on self-confidence. self esteem which would be good for her to read


    Answer by momjs at 9:53 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • Well, lets start with the clothes, makeup, etc. With the clothes, if they are appropriate, let her have them, she's at an awkward in-between age and wants her own style. If you really can't stand them, try to find a compromise. As for the makeup, sorry, but no. I let my oldest start wearing it when she started junior high, but not too much. If she really wants it, mascara and lipgloss are good and subtle. Now for the boys, it's natural for her to like them, but you're smart to say no. My 14-year old starting dating in 8th grade, but not too seriously, more like just hanging out. And about the bras, if she needs one, go for it. If she's uncomfortable about camis and sports bras do about the same.
    Hope this helps!

    Answer by LeviM at 7:59 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • My sisters & I weren't allowed to wear make up or colored fingernail polish until we were 12 or 13. If you are afraid of the colors that she might chose for eyeshadow, have her notice all of the actresses about her age. Most of them wear mascara, a little blush and lipgloss or lipstick that is similar to their lip color. It looks quite natural, even the eyeshadow. Make-up is supposed to enhance their natural beauty & not be overpowering. Maybe one day, you could take her to a department store or Mary Kay Consultant for a facial. They will instruct her on how to take better care of her skin. As for needing a bra, it can't be helped. Pick your battles with her.

    Answer by dustbunny at 2:58 AM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • Shes just a girly girl. Thats all. It sounds like youre just feeling uncomfortable because you dont understand it and youre really concerned that you might not understand her and it will drive you apart. Thats a real concern. I say, be moderate. Dont make her try to be like you, but dont allow everything she asks for. Shes ten yrs old, she likely needs a bra. Thats common. Get her a few of them and make her wear them. Let her dress girly if she wants, but make sure shes covered and its age appropriate. Justice is a good place to buy clothes. I think theyre cute and trendy but modest. Its kinda expensive though. Let this be a time for you to move out of your own comfort zone and try to understand her. Dont shun her likes and dislikes just because you dont understand her. It sounds like youre really trying. Also if you have a friend or a family member that can help you, then get her involved. Just stay in tune with her.

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:28 AM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • I'm w/you, I don't get the whole "Fashion" thing. Solid color shirts and versatile pants/shorts work just great for me. Our 10 yr old daughters are just doing what they are supposed to be doing, practicing for adulthood. I remember being this age & playing w/other girls on the street using our older sisters makeup & purses & using whatever boy's names they happened to be dating @ the time in our pretend play. I think the best thing you can do is say "Listen, this is so not me! I don't know exactly what to tell you about clothes and stuff, but I can tell you about life and what is important to being a good human. It is OK to be wild and outrageous sometimes (in clothes & actions), but you have to always treat others with respect & kindness. U never want to be the mean girl." I have also taken my DD to the bookstore & looked @ magazines to talk about stuff, boys, clothes,etc. Very educational! Good Luck and hang on!

    Answer by lisaeNH at 9:06 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.