Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How close is too close for teen DD & Dad?

DH is the natural father of my DD, age 15. But he & I split when DD was a baby & she didn't see him until a few days after she turned 13. DH & I got married & DD finally had her parents together. Anyway, DD & DH are very close. I'm worried that they are too close. They will sit on the couch & snuggle together. DD will literaly drape herself over DH--legs over his, arms around him. They hold hands when we go place together (the store or on family outings) & think it is funny when people think they are dating. DD wants to sleep on our bedroom floor every night & if I am gone, she will crawl into my bed to sleep with DH. DD tells him everything--including details about her period. I'm really glad they are close but this seems a bit much. It seems like she treats him more like a boyfriend than a Dad. Am I over-reacting? How much should a 15 y.o. DD tell her Dad? Is the constant contact inappropriate? Please advise.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:47 AM on Aug. 15, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (44)
  • I think that this child has missed having a father around and shes making up for lost time. Thats all. I dont think she knows its inappropriate at her age, because likely her father/daughter relationship is immature. Meaning in that context, shes 5 yrs old, not 15. Had her dad been around at 5, she would have gotten to do these things then and wouldnt feel like that small insecure child. She would feel like she was 15 and have a normal relationship with him. I think he did her more harm by not being around. I think this is perfectly innocent and while SOME of it is inappropriate, I dont think you should do anything. Let her have that time with her dad that shes missed out on. I say, in a year or two, she will balance out and be able to get past this. I also think shes fearful of him leaving and not being around, so shes clinging to him. If he ever leaves her, it will damage her badly. He needs to know that.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:57 AM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • wrong person to ask i told my daddy everything,even when i got my heart broken maybie she wanted her dad so bad that she tells him everything now,the only odd thing i see is the couch thing,my dad would be like "no honey your a young lady and it doesnt look right"
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 4:52 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • Do you trust your daughter? Would she? I would stop this but Idk it is touchy,no pun intended.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:56 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • husband should tell her her boundaries be CLEAR write them down,is she slowwer?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • get the book Boundaries in Marriage
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • Wow. OK so I'm with somebody who left his daughter when she was a baby and just recently got back in her life when she was 11, shes fifteen now and well I personally thought they were to close. They snuggled and she would share stuff with him like her period and if she kisses boys and sleeps on our bedroom floor. So I addressed it and told him and her I felt awkward about it. It hurt him a lot, he told me he just saw her like a baby and he didn't mean any harm by it. But your situation seems worse they don't hold hands and she never ever tries to get in bed with us Id be careful how you approach the situation but I think it should be approached.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:00 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • OP here: I have talked to DH. Sometimes he agrees with me & says he knows that it needs to stop. Other times, he just laughs & says it is his baby girl. The thing is, it has been going on for 2 years now. I have told DH that is makes me uncomfortable & he will make DD back off for a while but then it gradually starts up again. I trust DH & DD completely & don't think there is anything more going on than what I see. DD is not slow, she is quite intelligent actually. But she lived without a dad for a very long time. I guess I'm just trying to figure out if there is something wrong with them or with me. Personally, I was never very touchy-feely with my Dad. I don't think we snuggled together after I was about 6 years old. We hugged but didn't walk around that way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:08 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • New Life Live.com
    it is on WFIL RADIO
    WFIL.COM
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:15 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • follow them on twitter too they are Christian therapists
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_2_10?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=boundaries+in+marriage&sprefix=Boundaries
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 AM on Aug. 15, 2009

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN