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I feel like Im disapointing EVERYONE

Ok, so my soon to be sons father hasnt been around since I was about 6 weeks pregnant, give or take- about a month ago he decided he wanted to try to "work things out"
I thought deep down inside he was doing this to avoid child support and while that may be the case the joke will be on him, because I am still filling- Anyways, I had my soon to be sons name ALL picked out, my family liked it, I LOVED it, but his father HATES it!
I guess I feel like since he is trying I should consider his names, but at the same time, I went throu this WHOLE pregnancy with out him, only for him to show up twards the end for the "Fun" stuff, like naming the baby, and seeing the baby, and holding the baby- I'm due Agu 27th- He didn't even know the due date- he just new it had been about 9 months- When he first called me his question was "did you have the baby yet" Didn't even know if it was a boy or girl.
I don't know what to do-

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:06 PM on Aug. 15, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (7)
  • I kNOW he won't be with me forever- Were not together now, but I have NO plans on making the same mistake again-
    However he will ALWAYS be my sons father...Should I let him help choose and change the name I had my heart set on, or should I just let him be disapointed, and choose the name, My family and I LOVE?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • To be frank with you... I would give the name I chose for the baby the green light.
    Yes, he's the father... but that's really about it. Like you mentioned, he wasn't there throughout the whole pregnancy - except the first month (when you probably didn't even realize you were pregnant) and the last legs of it.. and you know he won't be with you forever.
    However, your son will, and the name you chose for him. If you love it, then go for it.
    But, if there's some sort of compromise that you can reach and you are more willing to do that... then go for it. If you're set on the name you have chosen and not willing to think of anything else... oh well for him.

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 6:12 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • I would choose the name you and your family love. After all you and your family have been there the entire pregnancy, he has not. But I would at least give him a chance to be apart of the child's life, but not yours. Meaning do not get back together with him. If he left when it meant the most, he will do it again.


    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 6:12 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • Name him what you want.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:13 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • I think I would go with the name you and your family like. I don't think you can count on this guy staying around for the next 50 years or so, based on what he's done so far. There has to be some kind of consequences for his bad behavior, so I would give the baby the name you have chosen. I would also tell him that if he wanted to be a part of this child's life, he needed to start acting like a dad. Then I think you should describe to him what you think that should look like. Maybe he doesn't know. Under no circumstances would I let him weasel back into my life until he had proven that he was a man of character. That's the bad thing about premarital sex. The guys don't have to prove anything, and most of the time, women end up like you. But you can learn from it and you can not repeat your mistake. I wouldn't trust this guy because to just suddenly reappear makes me very suspicious of his motives. Hope you are, too.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:16 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • And - btw.
    I don't understand how you feel like you're disappointing "everyone"
    You'd ultimately be disappointing the one person in your life, who in turn, disappointed you by disappearing for the majority of your pregnancy.
    I agree with soonmommyof3 - I would definitely give him a chance to be in the child's life, but not in yours.

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 6:16 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • Okay, heres the thing. I think its nice of you to be so compassionate, but if you keep up this "Im disappointing everyone" attitude then youre going to be upset all the time. People will take advantage of you and run all over you all the time. Again, it sounds like youre a really nice person and its okay to be nice, but its not okay to allow people to take advantage. You name the baby what you feel comfortable with and let him know that while you are taking his thoughts into consideration, you feel that this would be the best idea. If he decides to get huffy and leave all about a name then you know his heart was never in it. People dont bail on their kids over such silly things. It should take more than that to run him off. I dont think you should be beligerant and hard to get along with, but I do think you should be firm. Dont worry about disappointing people. Just take care of yourself. Let him be there but not be in control

    Answer by momofsaee at 6:23 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

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