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Would you be upset? Thank you for taking the time to read.

So my husband and I are invited to a wedding. We have been out together 3 times in 28 months. Each time my mother has watched our daughter. So my mother was not around to watch our daughter this time. So I call my best friend/cousin. We are the same age and have been close since we were 2 years old.

So I call her to ask her to watch my daughter. I ask her to be here at 2:30 to help watch my daughter so I can get ready. I told her the latest she could be at my house was 3:30 because we had to be at the reception at 4:30. Only family was going to the wedding. So anyways she shows up at 3:55. Whatever my husband was running late anyways. The latest we could leave was 4:00.

continue....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:21 PM on Aug. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • So we get there and all seems to be fine. I have never been to a wedding reception and did not know the bride and groom would not already be there. So I told my cousin I would be home at 8:00 because I had never been to a wedding reception/dinner. I thought you just ate talked and danced a bit and left.

    So the bride and groom arrive at 6:45 and at 7:15 they start you with a salad. So I called my cousin and asked her if I could stay later. Mind you I was paying her $15.00 an hour to watch my child. She said “I want you home at 8:00 because I have to get up at 5am to work. Not to be mean but she goes out and parties, dances and whatnot and stays out to 10 or 11 o’clock at night and gets up the next day.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • cont...
    Am I wrong to be upset with my cousin? I have done many things and gone out of my way several times for her. I do these things not expecting anything back but in two years this is the one time I have asked her to do something and she could not stay an extra couple hours for me. I’m so upset I just feel like she could have stayed. Would you even say anything or just let it go. I know it’s done with but I think I’m just so upset that we did not stay for even the food at the reception. It was so embarrassing while they were serving the food we got up and left.
    So as a parent im starting to feel bad for myself that one night in two years I was going to have a good time but did not. As a parent is it always like this?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • I would be upset about it but i would drop it because it will start issues. Next time she needs extra help i wouldnt do it, and i wouldnt ask her for her help again. But i wouldnt tell her thats what your doing.
    SammiTaylorTM

    Answer by SammiTaylorTM at 9:31 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • Yes I'd be upset, but not angry. Maybe frustrated. If your cousin needs to be up by 5 in the morning, then she really can't stay any longer according to what she thinks, anyway. It is a shame that you had to miss the food. It was probably unreasonable to assume the reception would be done by that early. Since it was such a special occasion and a wonderful outing for you and your husband, it's too bad that the timing wasn't better laid out. Looking back on it, you could have found out if your cousin could stay until say 10 PM,and if she couldn't then you would have tried to find another sitter, or not gone at all. We didn't go out for years, because we couldn't find a sitter that we trusted. No it isn't always like this, before you know it, your child will be babysitting. I am very sorry that your fun evening was ruined. Maybe find someone else to sit? Good luck.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:34 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • I don't even think you should have paid her from the beginning, she was your cousin and best friends. best buds help each other. there's really no reason why she couldn't have slept over your house after all. too bad that wasn't thought of from the start. since this was the first time i'd just put it aside and shelve it.

    but keep it in mind to gets things more clear if you ever ask her again. Have her sleep over your house then you don't hafto worry so much about time.

    sorry your first time out was so bad. don't let it stop you though from wanting more. maybe your mom could watch your kids every two months on a friday or saturday night even afternoon on a weekend? Maybe try that to get out more. It's hard I know. I didn't start going out a lot with my husband til my youngest was 14 years old. Then my older two could watch her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • You told her 8pm...so you have no right to be upset. She agreed to 8pm.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • Oh and for the record, I have been out ZERO times in the past 14 months (since my dd was born). If I were you, I'd be grateful to have until 8pm for some fun time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • you paid her $15.00 and hour and i come babysit for you???? Maybe rub your feet and clean your house----lol. She should have been glad to stay as long as you wanted her too she is family, you shouldn't of had to pay her, family does stuff for eachother, it sound like you do stuff for her, for free.
    blue_glass_mama

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 12:02 AM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • Welll....no, I wouldn't have been upset. I WOULD have set up time parameters from the very start...and if that meant calling the bride or whomever it was I knew in the party to get an idea of how late a night it would be, that's what I would have done.

    Not to say there isn't some blame on her side....she should have let you know what time limits SHE had. I don't care about her partying at night. Both of you needed to have some kind of agreement on how many hours it would be.

    I wouldn't bother being mad. It's a waste of energy. I'd take the lesson that you need to have plans made as firmly as possible.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:25 AM on Aug. 16, 2009

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