Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do I do?

My husband and I are separated and are going through a divorce/child custody battle of sorts...the beginning stages. We can hardly communicate, and while I have done my absolute best to always be civil for the sake of our daughter, he can't get past all the crap and talk to me like a normal person. My biggest problem though is this....he wants to fight me for joint custody, but he doesn't even see our one year old daughter regularly? He only calls when he feels like it, sporadically, and at times it's been as much as four weeks in between times of seeing her for two to three hours. What do I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Aug. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I've never been in this kind of situation. If I were you I think I would document every time he sees your daughter, and the length of time he spends with her. I would imagine that this could be presented in court as an example of his lackadaisical fathering.

    Answer by dedicatedrider at 10:52 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • Nothing! The court will check on his records and see he has no interest! you will be fine god luck mama!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • Joint custody only means he wants to share decisions in the child's life in most states. Tell him he can have that but you get full physical custody. Check with your attorney to verify that.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:58 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • If it was me Id seek legal advice ,but in lot of states from what Ive heard mothers have more rights to there children than the father does and maybe you could suggest that until hes more consistent with seeing her more thru week youd like to have supervised visits ,but I think best thing would to honestly seek an attorney or legal aide since they specialize in custody issues ect. I had to do that with my childrens father when he tryed fighting me on not wanting to pay hardly anything for childsupport and going thru legal aide I guess is much cheaper ,something to check into but I . Wish you luck!

    Answer by bizebe at 10:58 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • I went thru this with my kids dad when he left... not the court stuff cus we weren't married but the treating me like crap stuff.... it's been 6 years and he still cannot talk to me with an ounce of respect, and the thing is HE is the one who cheated and left.... not me.
    I have called lawyers before about his behavior they will give you advice over the phone, and answer questions you have. But you'd have to pay for a lawyer to get into the details of the whole thing. I'm sure he is more worried about paying child support than anything. My ex went months wiithout seeing his kids they were 1 and 2 when he split. He didn't take very good care of them at that age in my opinion either... left them at his brothers with no bottles or diapers for about 6 hours while he went to work on his gfs truck. kids came back with bloated diapers.
    Now the kids are older and I don't worry as much...
    Get legal advice...and document everything

    Answer by janeenee at 11:43 PM on Aug. 15, 2009

  • definitely write down every visit and also write down every phone call or incident between you. getting a lawyer would be the best thing- my ex was the same type of loser but had rich parents that hired a good lawyer and took him from me. he was a drinking,drug using abusive,lazy,nonworking jerk-always told me he'd take our son. i didn't believe he could. from this point on, leave no room for error. do not let him visit whenever the hell he wants to to be nice. tell him you want him to visit every other weekend just like a court would order. if he can't be consistent, don't be sympathetic with him. your daughter of course,should know her dad, but the arguing and inconsistency can really hurt her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 AM on Aug. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.