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Ladies, out of curiosity....

do you allow your children to serve their own plates at family gatherings: birthday parties, bar-b-q's etc....and if so how much do you allow them to eat one, two, three, four plates of food? do they have a cut off point or do you allow them to eat as much as they want? at some point do you think their getting greedy or it's rude if your at someones birthday party or bar-b-q and some child keeps getting up and eating plate after plate. Also do you tell your kids to go play or allow them to sit and listen to adult conversation at family gatherings? what if the converstion in inappropriate for children?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Aug. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • My youngest are tweens and I still keep an eye on what they're eating. I don't nag them about it but I will encourage them to try different dishes so they can have a better variety of foods. Yes, I do cut them off after seconds and try to limit their soda intake, all for health reasons.

    As for conversations, my kids are bored with adult conversation anyway so they disappear when it's time to talk "adult." If they do stick around they aren't allowed to interrupt or speak inappropriately but if they have something to say pertaining to the conversation then I make sure they are allowed their turn to contribute.

    Answer by michiganmom116 at 12:48 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • my child is only 4 so i fix her p[late and she walks with me and tells me what she wants she is a lite eater also all she eats in fruits, vegatables, and rice plain rice, and pizza with mustard...GROSS but thats her and thats all she eats. so i dont really have a problem with sitting with us but she rather be running around with the other kids dancing if it is inappropratie i would ask her if she wants to go play for a lil bite. i dont think it is rude for anyone to get more then one plate also bc hey that less leftover the other ppl have to pack up, do you like taking home alot of food that your never gonna eat.

    Answer by ggiovanni at 11:54 AM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • I usually let them take what they want. There is always a ton of food at our family reunions (mostly because my dad brings a ton himself). The last one was 2 years ago (we used to have them every year) and my youngest was only 16 months so I got her plate and my dad helped my then 4yo get her plate but the other two (51/2 and 7 at the time) got their own. My only rule was, and always is, they have to have some kind of veggie on their plate and have to try something new/different instead of just hot dogs and chips. My kids were like the only ones with veggies on their plates. I don't think they finished one plate each because they were too busy playing.
    We were at a Girl Scout function, though, and I had to cut my 6yo off because she went back for 5 plates of food. Geesh. Most of it was fruit but she wouldn't stop eating to go do her GS thing.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 12:12 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • My teens do for themselves, my 7 year old get's his own but with someone watching, I hold the plates for the 5 and 3 year old but they tell me what they want. I do allow them to get how much they want, but they have to eat it and I teach them to be mindfull that there are other people there. If it's a party situation I feel they should have a little more freedom, it's not an every day occurance.

    I don't make my children go play if they don't want to, I do encourage it, but depending on the age of the child that isn't always possible, so I would expect that the adults would limit the conversation to something appropriate, at least until the child runs off to play.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 1:23 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • luckyseven I looked at your profile and saw your beautiful family. I have a question did you adopt some or all of your children, and if so is that why you do not make your children go play if they do not want to. Do you think you would parent differently if they were your biological kids? Encouraging kids is great, but they do not always make the best decision for themselves and that's when it is the parents responsibility to tell them what they need to do. Adults should not have to limit their conversation because a child does not want to go play or chooses to stay and listen to adult conversation instead of making the better choice to go play because they were encouraged to do so.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Aug. 16, 2009