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Why is it acceptable to brag about your child being smart but not attractive?

Iwas thinking about this, why do people not seem to mind (at least too much) when parents talk about their kids being smart but don't tolerate people talking about their kids attractiveness. My BIL has two gorgeous daughters, and frequently talks about it around friends and family members. I've heard other people criticize him for doing this. Yet, I often hear parents talk about their kids being great at puzzles, art, or having an awesome memory, and it seems to be acceptable. It's not like a kid has any more control over being naturally smart than what they look like so why is more acceptable to brag about this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Aug. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • I don't think that either is acceptable.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:11 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • Well, though Ive never observed this, its likely because being smart is considered an achievement and being pretty is just genetic. Personally, I have smart and pretty kids. All 3 of my school aged children are straight A students, even my highschooler. I think its the obligation of a parent to brag about their childrens intelligence and their beauty. I would wonder about moms who didnt. Its not that I think my children are better than others, but I think theyre wonderful and thats my job as a mother. So I love to hear moms brag about their kids. Brag away!!
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 12:11 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • i dont consider myslef braging becouse my little one has done somethings early and others not,i do say she was walking at 7months but i also say is she adorable.i gess parents just asume people can see that there kid is prety and brag about them being smart becouse they are proud of the kid.being smart takes work being pretty ur born with it.
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 12:14 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • I tell my dd all the time that she is both smart and beautiful, but that beauty is only skin deep and its whats in her heart that counts, that way she knows that she shouldnt make fun of people who look different than she does. Alot of people think beauty is the most improtant thing but beauty will fade and only getyou so far! Why wouldnt it be acceptable to brag about how smart or pretty your kid is as long as you arent doing it to make other people feel bad/? I ove my kidss and am proud of their accomplishmetns so yeah im going to spout that as often as i can but im not going to do it around people that i know will think Im tyring to be mean!
    elananme

    Answer by elananme at 12:17 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • because you don't want kids growing up thinking that beauty is all there is to them. I do tell my son he is handsome but I tell him how smart he is 10 X more. I want him to be well rounded and not to think that looks are all there is to a person. Too many kids (mostly girls) start to have body image issues when they become teens if they are not absolutely perfect. ``````````````````````````````````````````````` not sure if that is the reason but that is my best guess.......IJS

    justgrape723

    Answer by justgrape723 at 12:32 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • Personally, IMHO I believe it is because as others have said beauty is skin deep and is genetics, intelligence generally steams from what the parent has done with their child (a child does not learn to sing songs unless parents sing them with/to them.)

    LOL my children are both beautiful (and handsome) and very intelligent. They are awesome children!
    Wildkitten82

    Answer by Wildkitten82 at 12:40 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • Because intelligence has always been valued as part of the general Puritan work ethic of our forebearers, but saying one is beautiful has long been considered indulging in pridefulness. While it seems like, at least on the surface, that this has changed and everything in our society is about looking good, when it really comes down to it & push comes to shove, the deeply ingrained prejudices of our forefathers come out with a vengeance.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • Bragging about kids being good at something is talking about what the child has accomplished. Looks aren't something kids accomplish. Besides most kids are really cute or beautiful. Bragging that your kids are good looking makes you look shallow since most parents could brag about good looking their kids are.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • Personally, IMHO I believe it is because as others have said beauty is skin deep and is genetics, intelligence generally steams from what the parent has done with their child (a child does not learn to sing songs unless parents sing them with/to them.)

    Not really, I think smarts definitely has to do with genetics as well. Plus, i can understand that if your talking about something like grades, but when your talking about your kids being a fast learner or having a good memory it seems like it's bragging about genetics just as much as if your were talking about their looks.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • because you don't want kids growing up thinking that beauty is all there is to them. I do tell my son he is handsome but I tell him how smart he is 10 X more.

    Are you not worried about him thinking that being smart is all there is to him? Why do people seem not to think that it's so wrong to have an "ego" about being smart, but it's horrible to have an ego about looking good?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

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