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Disrespectful 8 1/2 year old.

My daughter is almost 9 and she is very disrespectful. She does nothing anyone asks her to. If we try and talk to her she won't listen and tries to manipulate her way out of the situation. I have tried everything, grounding, time outs and no sleep overs. She wouldn't clean her room, so I took everything out and she has to earn it back but she doesn't care. I cry every night because I am just so fed up. If DH and I ground her, she goes crying to her aunt and makes us look like the bad guys. How can we get control of her when everyone else lets her run wild and be disrespectful to them. What else can I do? We've tried it all and her attitude is getting worse. When her aunt tried discliplining her, my dd called and said her aunt was trying to kill her. She does the same to us. She knows it don't work on me, but when she goes making up outrageous tales it has made DH afraid to even disclipline her. HELP..


Asked by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Aug. 16, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • You should sit her down, talk to her in a calm manner and send her up to her room. This might sound like crap, but it works wonders. If she thinks it's a joke- remove her bedroom door from the hinges. If she has no respect, she deserves no privacy. She's only 9- and you have to take control now before things get worse. Let her scream, cry- it doesn't matter- just be firm about it. Also, don't let her go out. If she feels she needs to be dis-respectful, give her the same treatment. Make her do chores. And if that doesn't work- try teen bootcamp. That'll straighten her out.

    Answer by SinCitiChick at 2:56 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • You need to get her prefessional help. Call TOMORROW and make an appointment. This is not just disappear she has something going on in her head and she needs help that you or DH can't do. GL and God Bless you and your family.

    Answer by raemommy at 2:30 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • She has talked to a counselor, but the counselor said she just needs disciplined more often and to buckle down on her more.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • I'd say have her volunteer somewhere doing something she's interested in. Maybe it will open her eyes to see how lucky she is compared to some others who are down on their luck at the moment. Soup kitchen, animal shelter, cleaning up a city park, nursing home, etc. I wouldn't have her earn anything(monetary) for doing these things, with the exception of respect for other people(especially her family). Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

  • Thank you for your wonderful idea's. I had a calm talk with her. I also madea chart, household rules and what happens if they are broken. A rewards chart too. I hung the charts up, so they know what happens if a rule is broken. I put up a separate chart, where I can keep track of who broke what rule and the punishment for it. My daughter took it very seriously, but she realizes now the consequences. She's been on her best behavior ever since. I expect her to test me on it and I will stick to it. I hope this works! Oh, I made it for my 5 year old son too, that's why I said they.

    The soup kitchen and all of that, I will do. I want her to see how good she has it.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Aug. 16, 2009