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My boyfriend wants to adopt my son.. need some information..

My son will be a year old this month. The sperm donor hasn't been in the picture since he knocked me up.. I've tried several times to get him to take responsibility but he wouldn't: He has never seen or spoken to my son, never took financial responsibility for him, etc. My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting married.. most likely by the end of the year. He also wants to adopt my son before we do, so that my son will have health insurance and such.

What I need to know is would it be easier to do the adoption in Illinois or California (Illinois-birthplace, California-where we are moving next month)? How long does the process take? What are steps we need to take in order to get it done? Can some of the paperwork be done in California (where my boyfriend is now) then faxed here in order to speed up the process? How much does it cost?


Asked by alinker at 1:59 AM on Aug. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

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This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • When my brother adopted his wife's child, there were some things that needed to be done first....First, they got married, then had to wait a year before he could even apply to adopt his wife's son.....Then, before the court would approve the adoption, they had to run an ad in a local paper notifying the bio dad of the intent to adopt.....Once the ad was run & they had made "every effort" to notify the bio dad of the intent to adopt, they could have bio dad's parental rights terminated by the court.....Then, once the court terminated the bio dad's parental rights, my bro & his wife had to have a home study done & background checks on my brother & our immediate family members, etc., just like if it were a regular adoption through an agency....Once all that was approved, then they could approach the court for the final adoption proceedings...The whole thing took the better part of a year to complete. Oh, and this was in PA.

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 9:37 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I live in Arkansas so I can only tell you what happens here....You have to wait at least a year for his parental rights to even be considered terminated. And they have to run an ad in the paper for two weeks staiting the date of conception, birth date and place and if someone responds then they do a paternity test. Also, I'm almost positive that in any state you would have to be married. And the lawyer will most likely call the dad of this kid. And he could easily say that he's not signing over anything .

    Again, this is all in Arkansas...

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 2:03 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • You have to be married. You have to have the father's rights terminated first

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • YOu have to be married.
    Is the father on the certificate?
    You may have to get him to give up his rights first .
    Your boyfriend cant adopt. He does has to be your husband . Your ex has to have no rights as well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I would get married first

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • If the two of you decide to get married, then you can worry about it. It's stupid to even consider it while he is only your boyfriend.

    If the "sperm donor" is on the birth certificate, then you do have to get his rights terminated. He has to sign something agreeing to it. THEN your HUSBAND can move forward to adopt your baby.

    But then, you need to not come onto a public message board asking for legal advice. You need to talk to a lawyer.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • To answer some of the questions, no the bio father is not on the birth certificate. I asked on here because I figured mom's who have gone through something similar could help clarify things for me. Thanks to the moms who didn't judge me :)

    Answer by alinker at 3:06 PM on Aug. 17, 2009