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It's Not That Hard To Give It Up......

...and emotionally, you'll be ok since you know you did the right thing."

This is what someone said in a group thread. Apparently, it wasn't hard to give up our children because, after all, we did "the right thing". That remark hurt me to my very core. Do any others actually believe that load of horse crap?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:20 AM on Aug. 17, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (41)
  • I think if I gave up my child it would haunt me until the day I died. Even if I thought it was the right thing to do.

    Answer by jharve at 2:25 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • hats off to them i hope they can movr on with their life they did not kill the baby so they get my admiration! It takes a unselfish mom to give up her baby!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • It would be the hardest thing in the world for me to give up my child. Especially after being attached for 9 months. It does take a strong women to be able to do that I think though.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I could not give my child up. I mean, I guess for some people it may not be hard, if they just don't give a damn about their child. But for those who do care, I can only imagine that it would be one of, if not the, most painful things to ever go through.

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 2:37 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • It was the most painful thing I have ever felt.I cannot imagine anything except harm coming to my children being as painful as this.I have moved forward with my life but that does not make me live without amazing pain.Though there are natural moms that are at peace or feel it was the correct thing then and now, it seems noone would want to go through that again.

    Answer by drfink at 3:01 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I don't for a second!!! My husband had his son at 17 and adopted him out through an open adoption. We still get to see him and he knows who my husband is, who I am and that our dd is his sister... but it is very VERY hard on DH. He knows he did the right thing but has to remind him of that everytime he thinks of his son! I really give admiration to those who looked beyond themselves and to the life of their child and consider adoption!!! I REALLY do not agree with that statement that was made!!! Seeing how hard it STILL is for my husband 6 years later... you don't "get over it!!!" and I don't expect DH to! Giving up your child.... for the better.... is a VERY VERY hard decision to make and live with!

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 3:02 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I dare any person who would actually believe that garbage to look at their children and decide which one they are going to give up, all the while telling themselves that it's ok because they're "doing the right thing"!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Giving up my baby was the hardest , most horrible thing I ever did. Not only did I hurt myself , forever, that day, but I left her with feelings of abandonment, and betrayal. My parents made the choice.I was not brave, but a coward. I should have fought them. I will never "get over it'. I did the right thing because all adoptive families are perfect, never experience divorce, abuse, financial problems, or any other type of difficulties? I, as a young single girl, could not possibly provide what a child needs, right? Lawyers, social workers and many others fed me lies like honey in their well planned script and told me that if i loved my baby, I would not, could not keep her. How is that brave? How do "get over that"? I was nothing more than a stupid coward!

    Answer by stillamom1213 at 3:21 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • My favorite lie I was told by bfather,my family,agency was that I really didn't love my baby because I wanted to keep my baby,if I really loved my baby I wouldn't want to keep my baby so therefore I had proven I was unfit brcause I really didn't love the baby.HUH I really wanted him to be loved correctly so I surrendered him without a lot of complaining.

    Answer by drfink at 4:41 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • "It takes a unselfish mom to give up her baby! "

    This line strikes me as rather callous even though I am not a member of the adoption triad. Does that imply that keeping and raising your baby is not a loving and admirable thing to do? That somehow that is selfish for a mother to want to keep her own baby? From the numerous questions and answers on here I think that most of the birth mothers here don't agree with that statement at all.

    Answer by miriamz at 10:36 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

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