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AM I CHEATING???????????

i have a old boyfriend that i recently got in touch with through myspace. we discussed the past 15 years of life and i was happy we still hit it off. alot of times our emails turn into heavy flirty and flattery. i love it! i will be married 10 years next month and i feel guilty as hell but not enough to were i end my conversations with him. as teenagers we never slept together- but we confided in our family's issues and became good friends. he is getting a divorce when he gets back from iraq in november and wants to come see me, but hints about our "unfinished business". hubby knows nothing of this and i feel guilty, but not enough to quit talking to him. he called me yesterday from iraq so he could hear my voice! i know it is just a fantasy and i am in happy marriage, but i do think i am attracted to him for the new attention i am receiving. it's like a breath of fresh air! ladies help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 3:01 AM on Aug. 17, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • Please know that what I said wasn't meant to be harsh or anything like that. I would just hate to see you throw your marriage away, or risk having it thrown away because of this. It's easy to get caught up in the moment and in the romance of it all, but the reality of it is, it's inappropriate and you're risking a lot. It's not a problem to have friends with the opposite sex, as long as your spouse knows about it, and you never do or say something that your spouse couldn't witness.

    Maybe you should talk to your dh, tell him how much you love him, and that you know he loves you, but that you need him to show you that he does in a way that makes you feel special for who you are. Maybe tell him that you really need to hear those complements and loving things from him, because that's what makes you feel desired as a woman, and you're afraid that not getting it could leave your marriage open to attack from the outside.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 7:43 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • flee temptation and God will bless you!

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 3:02 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • DO NOT CONTINUE THIS RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!! Whether you think it will go farther or not, he's obviously gotten the impression from you that it will, hence the call and the urge to come visit. If you need attention, talk to your husband.

    Answer by clhadley at 3:03 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Yes its cheating, how would you feel if your husband was talking as you are with another women let alone an Ex,... its wrong fresh air or not your cheating

    Answer by MrsCarlton at 3:07 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • its not CHEATING but it could most def lead there

    Answer by pookipoo at 3:09 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • well, yes...... but if done in a controlled way it can strengthen your marriage by making u a stronger and happier woman

    Answer by hibbingmom at 3:09 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • i know, but seems so hard to stay away from my computer..... i do talk to hubby it is just he will not change. there are no compliments anymore, nothing new. i just don't know why i feel like i this?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Agree with PP. I he is making a point to call you from irak and wanting to see you he most likely thinks you 2 are becoming more then just friends. I would stop talking to him in the flirty kind of way cuz its just making it harder for the both of you. Just think if you husband wasa doing this and you found out how pissed off you would be. there is no reason to ruin your marriage for some guy that that you dated a long time ago. Just think of your family and what this could do.

    Answer by JacobsMommy05 at 3:10 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Then open up and be honest with him. And really...are YOU the same woman he married? Marriages get's your job to spice it up. And here's a little tip....Flirting is cheating's dirty cousin!


    Answer by clhadley at 3:11 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • It's emotional cheating. I would stop and focus on your husband and not on an old relationship that really has nowhere to go.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 AM on Aug. 17, 2009