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Does this make me insane?

He makes me happy....when I'm with him, nothing else in this world matters, it's like all my problems just fade away. I know it's not a healthy relationship, I know he doens't want a seriousl relationship, he's told me, but I love him with all my heart, and the time I do get to spend with him is so precious to me. We have been seeing each other for 5 months now, we talk on the phone for hours at a time, I spend the night over there, but I do want more. The only problem is everytime I try to stay away from him, I end up right back over there because I'm miserable without him. After going over there though, I'm happy and in a good mood, because he makes me happy. I'm soooo confused right now I just don't know what to do.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:55 AM on Aug. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Sounds like you suffer from low self esteem if you can't be happy without him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • He is your drug. That's what it sound like to me. Stop thinking with your heart and start thinking with your brain. Who knows how many other women he has other then you. Did you ever think of that. That idea alone should make you drop him.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:00 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • It sounds a lot like the way I felt when I had an infatuation. I was so obsessed, and joyful, and happy around him. Anyway, in my brief experience, he got engaged to another woman at the same time he was dating me, so that was that.

    You say that you want more, but he has said he doesn't want more.

    You are certainly not insane. You are human.

    You didn't ask for advice, so I won't give it. Other than: think.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:01 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • *OP* I do suffer from low self esteem, I admit that. I wish I didn't, I wish I thought more of myself. There are no other women, trust me I know this for a fact, I just don't think he's in love with ME, he wants his life the way it is now, nothing to tie him down. He's a very smart guy, owns his home, his land, his vehicles, he's not in debt at all, and I think he just likes his life the way it is. I keep thinking if I hold on then maybe things will change, because he even said himself that he could change his mind about us. I guess it's just when he says things like that I want to hang on...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Call him up & say "unless you can commit to me, it's over" and MEAN IT!


    See what he says. He may show up at your door after a 2 weeks saying he couldn't live without you. OR, he could never call you again. At least you'll know what he really wants. Would you want to keep going over there if you found out it was so easy for him to just drop you? Probably not, because that would mean that he didn't care as much as you thought. It might hurt, but at least you'll be out of feeling like this, one way or the other. Something needs to be done though. Its been long enough, you need to make an ultimatum.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:15 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • If he ever changes his mind, I'm assuming he has your phone number? I would stop waiting around for him and jump back into real life. After 5 months he should know whether or not he wants more, and evidently he's made his decision, now it's time for you to make yours.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:19 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • like someone else said, he is your drug. he is an object that takes you away from reality, gives you a euphoric feeling and causes you to go back for more. i would honestly recommend that you break it off, especially if you have kids, and get some counseling to figure out who you are and to learn to love yourself. until you love yourself you will never truly be capable of loving anyone else.
    emilsmama

    Answer by emilsmama at 9:52 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • ok, I"m not seeing the problem. Making the emotional connection is important. He likes you. You like him. Why not just enjoy each day you have instead of worrying about what may not come? I thought SO and I were just going to be a one night stand and that was years ago. What we have may be strange to others but it works for us. You want "more"? You may get more after you are with him for a while and he realizes this is what he wants as well. I'm happy when SO is around and I'm miserable when he's gone, too. Nothing wrong with thinking they rock.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:07 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • *OP* I guess not knowing does scare me a little bit. I see what you are saying admckenzie, it makes a lot of sense...why not just take it day by day and see what happens. I just don't want to get hurt again, but I guess thats a risk you take with any relationship you get in.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

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