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Ok, so I'm done...

Or at least I'm TRYING to be done LOL...I've tried to break it off with this guy for months because I know the relationship isn't really going anywhere, yet I keep going back to him. I really want to end it but I just can't seem too. What can I do? I think other than meeting someone else nothing is going to help me. I've tried exercising, reading, hanging out with my friends, praying, I've even considered getting a second job but nothing takes my mind off of him...any suggestions?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:01 AM on Aug. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Eventually something will stop you from wanting him.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:04 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Yes, it is very rough. And you are doing all the right things. Perhaps negative reinforcement would help. Everytime you think of him, think of something sad or nasty also, and this might dim his attraction. Do move on and try to meet other men.

    A mind exercise that I do when I want to stop thinking of something is when it pops into my mind, I push it out and say to myself "NO! I will not think of this." When it comes back, I say the same thing. It replaces a habit, which may be what you are going through- a habit of thinking of him- with another behavior- refusing to think of him. Good luck!
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:06 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Move away if it's possible? You probably need to understand why you keep going back to him. Why do you think you go back to him? Do you get lonely? If that's the case, then you need to take steps to hang out w/ your friends more. I don't know what i would have done if i didn't have friends to occupy my time when i split w/ the ex. They saved my life! And after about 2 months, i didn't want to go anywhere near him. Go out, & have some fun. Make some friends, if you need to. If your brain & time is somehow occupied, then it will make it harder for you to go back. And it will work especially well if you have friends who make you feel special. Anyhow, good luck! Stick to your guns, & think of him doing gross things that make you go "EEEEEEEW!", that might help too....lol!

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:06 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • *OP* I don't know why I keep going back! He lives an hour and 15 minutes away from me, so I have to travel to get to him...Gosh I sound pathetic I think I'm just starting to realize that LOL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • You don't need to meet someone else. You need to be alone for a little while, just you and your kid(s), learn how to be happy as a person and a mother without needing a man there.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:17 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • It seems like you've allowed yourself to fall in love w/ a 1/2 ass guy. Know this.......HE IS VERY SELFISH! All he wants is to live his life, HIS way. He does not want to compromise for any woman. He wants to get his penis wet, and wants no strings attached along the way. Sounds gross to me. I know you said there is NO WAY he could be cheating. But, when someone lives 1 1/2 hours away, there is PLENTY of time to hook up w/ other chicks. Please, open your eyes to that. Of course he is going to tell you that he is not sleeping with someone else, he will MAKE you believe that, because he still wants you around to please him when he wants. this guy is a slime bag. If he truely cared for you, he would commit. But he can't. You really need to make an ultimatum here. Tell him either commit, or never call again. If you keep going back, it's only your fault. Your going to keep killing yourself until you make that ultimatum.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:21 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Believe in yourself. You keep going back bc there is a dip in your self esteem. Sometimes that makes us think we can't do better so we stick with what we know we can get. Work on feeling good about yourself. Take a class. Meet people. Decide on the kind of man you really want and get out and see where he's at!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:02 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

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