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confused??? advice please!!

My husband doesn't believe in God and I was raised catholic. Well my husband doesn't care for the catholic faith and doesn't want our children raised that way. but he did agree a non denominational church would be ok. well I went to a few of the Bible studies and the women were talking about what they gave up when they became a Christian. I'm confused though why do you have to give things up?? I never heard of that in the catholic church. also in catholic church they believe in purgatory and spirits of our loved ones. In the church i attended they say its all the devil?? I don't believe in everything the new church I'm attending does. I'm torn as to what to do?? I don't believe in getting in peoples face to talk about Jesus. The women there made me feel like I was beneath them and they were just so wonderful. I'm soo confused they say I have to give up my music, tv, etc. why?? what should i believe??

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Aug. 17, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (19)
  • Well, I think your now what you need to do. I am a personally believer in following your heart. And it sounds to me like your heart is telling you to run from these people. I'm not saying you shouldn't go to church, just not that one. If thier belifs are so far off from your own, you shouldn't stay.

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 9:59 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • First I think it's important to realize that many people (even some Catholics) misunderstand the teachings of the Catholic Church. And because of this they make wrong assumptions about what we believe - so I wouldn't trust what this new church claims about Catholics. And it's also possible your husband misunderstands some things about the Catholic faith and it would be a shame if was because of misunderstandings that he wouldn't allow the children to learn more about the Catholic church. Have you talked to him about why he has problems? If you like the Catholic Church maybe if you both learn more about it, he will become more comfortable with you going there.

    Answer by eringobrough at 10:10 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Go back Home. It's what you really need. Through your example your Husband will see the falsehoods he has been taught. Also Read Home Sweet Rome. There Scott Hahn went through sort of the same thing with his wife. It might help you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • A lot of what theyre speaking about is simply just legalistic lingo and I realize its very confusing to you. They are talking about being in a personal relationship with Christ and how things such as tv, movies, and music can hinder that. I dont believe, though, that others have a say in what I do or dont do. I feel that is totally between you and God. If these women truly behaved in a way as to say youre inferior to them, then thats really wrong. A lot of times, just our general confusion and insecurity in a place like that can cause us to feel inferior, but I will definitely take your word for it. Many christian women can be ruthless. Basically, you need to find God for yourself and let him speak to you about what is right and wrong for you. Nondenominational churches can be very rules oriented and sometimes we get into idolatry waiting for the church or the pastor to tell us how to live. Its between us and God. Good luck

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:15 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Don't ever go to a church where they are condescending to you. No one should EVER try to make you feel like less than what you really are. If your husband does not like church, let him stay home & take your kids to a good Catholic church. He should understand that your not going to go against your belief. ALTHOUGH, some non-demoninational churches are not this way.

    As far as giving things up? Never heard of that one, but i am hindu. We believe that we get Karma for our actions. So we need to make a personal decision before doing something that might add to our karma. And that personal decision in no ones business but your own & god. You do not have to give anything up to be a good Christian. Do what feels right to you in your heart. The great thing about being Catholic, is you don't have to give anything up. Just confess to god & your good. That's really all you need though, is god's forgiveness & understanding.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:09 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • If your husband doesn't believe in god then he won't like the teachings of this church.  Talk to him about it and start looking for a new church that you feel comfortable in.


    Answer by beeky at 11:50 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I think you need to follow your heart. Maybe there's another non-denominational church that's better, but I have a feeling that your heart is really in the Catholic Church. Why does your husband have such a problem with the Catholic faith? I know of several families where one parent is not Catholic and doesn't go to church and the other parent does and they agreed that the kids can go to CCD, etc. So I think you really need to go back and talk to your husband again and ask why it is such a problem to go to a Catholic church... he doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to so what's the big deal? Ultimately, as they get older it will be up to your children to choose their faith, not your husband's and not yours. What would he do if even after keeping them from the Catholic church your kids decided to go to RCIA and become Catholic?

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 11:57 AM on Aug. 17, 2009


    Answer by older at 12:04 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I agree with Erin. Many individuals (including many Catholics) misunderstand Catholic teachings. In return, many people, including Catholics, misunderstand the Protestant response to Catholicism. It is not appropriate to harbor hostility between Protestants and Catholics any longer and those individuals at that church should not be doing that.

    As a Protestant, I can tell you there are a lot of things in Catholicism that I disagree with. However, like Erin, there are loads of Catholics who are inteligent and well versed in scripture and are Catholics because it makes sense to them and because they are called by God to the Catholic faith. That doesn't belittle my beliefs or my calling by God to be Protestant/Presbyterian whatsoever and we should not be at odds with each other :-) All lovers of God should appreciate the passions in one another and learn to live and let live.

    Answer by NovemberLove at 12:06 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • That being said, perhaps a denomination a little closer to Catholicism might help you? Why not try out a Lutheran church? You should not go to a church that makes you unhappy. You are comprimising with DH but HE needs to comprimise back with you.

    Not to mention, there are loads of non-denominational churches who are much more welcoming than the one you described to me. If you want an accurate portrayal of Protestantism vs. Catholicism, you can PM me and I can try to help. I'm sure Erin would be willing to help you or Cinnamon-mom, who is a non-denominationalist who frequents here, I'm sure wouldn't mind answering a few questions for you.

    Good luck! :-)

    Answer by NovemberLove at 12:08 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

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