Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do you do when you feel your stepson is prejudice? Or prejudice views?

My husband is white. I am black. We have been together 5 years. (Married 2yrs) My stepson Has always been difficult but sometimes he makes these off color jokes that are really hurt. This never happened when we were dating. But every once in a while he says things that point out that he feel whites are superior. I can't make my husband choose between me and his son. But this is my home. I hate feeling like hired help in his presence. He has told me that whites score better on standard tests. He says I should be happy that am with his dad because my life would not be as nice. (even though I am a professional and had a home and lived a very nice comfortable life prior to meeting him). One time he asked why my son took his lunch to school. I said because he likes to. Then he said Oh, I thought maybe they would not serve him because he was black!!! How do I find a solution to save my marriage.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Aug. 17, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Be an example to him. Maybe let him know when his comments hurt you. You could sarcastically joke back. Like when he said the comment about you being lucky to marry his dad you could have said "HA! He's the lucky one! I was fine before i met him" & make it a joke. He is obviously hearing this from somewhere, i would be a little patient with him. Maybe his mother is not that cool about it, & is feeding him bull. He is obviously not that old. I mean, my daughter is 7 & knows very well that blacks don't get treated any different that whites. I am actually shocked about the comment he made regarding the school lunch, I know he is a child, but it really seems as if he doesn't have much experience to know any better.

    Dad needs to talk to him too! His father should not be allowing him to say those things. Be a good example, & teach him not to judge. The best way you can do that is to prove him wrong, just by being you :)

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:56 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • well he is getting this nonsense from somewhere! chances are if his mother is white and he sees how his father chose you then that is probally the source. you need to check him yourself, but advise hubby first about the situation. tell him you and his father are in it for the long haul and he needs to get on board or get the hell out the way- that his disrespect will no longer be tolerated>

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • OMG! What the hell? I would put his little wanna be superior ass in his PLACE! He's your stepSON and it is YOUR HOUSE you make the rules. If he makes a comment like that show him YOUR superiority as an ADULT and take away his cell phone or his car or ANYTHING that would qualify as punishment to him. (im assuming he's not over 18). And your husband should get ahold of his son! TELL HIM!

    Answer by collegemom1007 at 10:53 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • He will e 17 in December. I feel he does know better. I Also know this crap comes from his mother. However he should be respectful. I have tried to put him in his place. I have joked and been very strong willed. My hubby knows but it seems to be embedded in him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

Next question in Relationships
update on roommate

Next question overall (Trying to Conceive)
Anyone know?