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My 6 year old son's visit with my parents....

He visited them for two weeks...they live out of state and this was his first visit without us....well he came back looking very unkept. Hair matted, nails long and dirty, ears filled with wax and teeth looking unclean. Would you be upset? Would you continue to allow him to visit every summer? My parents are good people...just not nurturing. He had a good time with them.

I am furious with my mom.....I tried telling her how to care for him, I sent all of his toiletries,etc. Hygiene is extremley important to me.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Aug. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Try explaining it to her, how he came home more unkempt than you would like and that you have a particular routine for hygene. Maybe make a chart and give it to her and tell her, "This is what we follow for bedtime and this is what we follow for wake-up time, etc. So he remembers to get everything done." If she still doesn't follow it, just think of it this way, it's only 2 weeks out of the summer and he loves being there a lot... maybe you can deal with it once a year?

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 11:32 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Oh and yeah, I'd let em go. It's his grandparents. They need the experiences of being with them and a little less hygene for a few weeks probably makes the child think they are getting away with murder. lol

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 11:38 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • lighten up. he had a good time. that should be enough to let him go back. You can pick up with your clean freak crap when he gets home. omg you are so much like my mom. I always loved getting away from her so I could enjoy living life instead of always listening to her rules and rules. The woman smelled like bleach all the time. I thought it was her perfume.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I'd let him go again. Just remind *him* to take care of himself. He's old enough to brush his own teeth and hair. Sure he needs a few reminders, but a week or two won't hurt him too much.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Perhaps two weeks is too long? The relationship with grandparents can be very special. While I don't think that matted hair and broken fingernails is that big a deal in the short haul - that's only the neglect that you can see. It would be hard to guess what else they are not doing for him while he's there. I would never let a child of mine stay with people I didn't trust. And i was in a similar position when mine were little. One SIL wanted my youngest to come stay with her, but she had a very dangerous job (cop) and had had her home attacked and her dog killed by disgruntled ex-cons. I didn't let my child there go until she was 18. Made me unpopular, but it did keep my child safe. I would suggest that in the future, his visit be a lot shorter, or that he only spend time with them when you are there, as well. My kids never spent time with the grandparents without me along.

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 2:10 PM on Aug. 17, 2009