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What would you do?

My family has consistently ignored me... both letting me know what is going on (including things that cannot be excused as an oversight like not letting me know my daughter was involved in a car accident that totalled the car) and responding to my attempts at communication. My mother has been talking sh*t about me to my daughter, all based on assumptions (for the majority of my daughter's life we lived across the country from them). A couple months ago they did tell me stepdad resigned his position & would need to live apart from my mom when he found an interrim position. I got a call from my sister yesterday, "I'm sure you know..." stepdad is leaving Thu. for 3 yrs... no, I didn't know. They don't talk to me. Sis wants us all to have dinner together... I love her and respect her attempts to continue family celebrations, etc., but she really doesn't know how they treat me. There are not reasons for this, btw. Should I go?

 
figaro8895

Asked by figaro8895 at 11:36 AM on Aug. 17, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 26 (27,251 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Don't reach out to them. Let them reach out to you. Go to the dinner, but make it perfectly clear (NO BS). If they start acting up, just get up and leave.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:42 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Yes. It may be a strain because of the way you are treated, but family is important, and this will be a way to show them that you are interested in the family and do consider yourself an active part of it.

    Go. Smile. Laugh along with the others. Have a good time.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:39 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Why do they talk to your DD and not you?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:43 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I wish I could help you but unfortunately no one can.  Only you know the dynamics of your relationship with all the parties involved and only you can make that decision. 

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 11:59 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • My daughter (who is 18) has been staying with them since last year (that is a whole other story and part of the story about the shitty treatment they have been giving me... my daughter and I have a very good and close relationship). She is not often there (and is there as little as possible on purpose).

    And to Bmat... How many times am I supposed to reach out and be the one who is acting like family matters while they do not? I have been having lots of discussions with friends regarding right relationship and insisting on it lately... Since I am the only one in my control and I need to set boundaries (something I addressed with a counselor last year regarding my parents and how they were treating me), this just seems like it is not a good solution. I do want to let them know, but I don't think our "last supper" is an appropriate setting. They're too involved in other things to have time for me any other time...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:00 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

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