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girls i need your edvice. my hubby & 2 other couples just got back from steriges south dekota wanted me to go but could not find a babysitter. took alot of pictures of boobs and butts just happen to see them on computer when i was looking for things and found other x pictures on there also

should i make a big deal of this and confront him when he gets home from work of why he has this stuff. right now after seeing this pic. the pics he took are from girls in there early 20's i am in my middle 30's they all are nice and skinny and just perfect and tan. the way i use to be before i had two kids and gained some weight aroundmy belly about 30 pounds. i am trying to loose it but it takes time. he tells me all he time he loves me and that i am sexy and our sexy life is good. . but are those just words or not. we do not have any family around were we live and have very little money to spend. so i end up staying home with the kids while he goes out. i do not remember the last time him and i went out together with out kids maybe 2yr's ago. what do i do. i know couples need to spend time with each other and we do not do that. do you think by him taking these pictures he has other idea's
please give me your thoughts

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Aug. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • If I were in your shoes, there would be a fight when he got home from work. And my husband and I do not fight, but that is entirely inappropriate. And by hearing you say you stay home with the kids all the time while he goes out- that is also inappropriate. Your a family, and you should be doing things as a family. While people need to get out every so often for them selves... they don't need it all the time. You and your husband needs some one on one time. Two years is too long to not go out and do something.

    Answer by amy31308 at 11:41 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I'm so sorry you found that, but it's probably best you did without him around. So you have time to think it through. First off he's a man, they don't put a lot of thought into things. The girls were eye candy. You should sit down with him and talk it through. Don't interrogate him, you should be able to ask him anything, you are married. If I would have come across something like that from my Hubby I would talk to him. Don't be afraid, be strong, tell him you just want to keep things open and honest and you want to keep your marriage strong. If you get angry from the start he will just get defensive. My Husband and I have a rule, we don't do anything like that alone. We are a couple and we make it a point to have a date night/day without the kids. It's important to your marriage. GL, PM me if you want to talk...

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:46 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • That is all that place is about. Sex, drugs and drinking. Seriously. So don't be suprised.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Okay, This is just my opinion here, but yeah, I'd really sit down and have a chat with your hubby. If he is going out a lot, leaving you with the kids, that just doesn't seem fair, especially when he took a trip with two other Couples.
    Seems to me like that was supposed to be a couples thing and since you couldn't go because of the kids he just figured he'd go anyway? Am I right?
    I'm sorry, but if you guys have little money to spend, what is he doing going out all the time? What was he doing in Stergis? He should spend time with you and the kids. Go out for a family dinner. Find another couple to watch the kids for a few hours while you go out and a have a quick bite and talk about stuff. Sounds like You need it!

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 11:55 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Men are giant Penis's.........why do we expect so much of them?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I'd be flipping out. Some people are more mature than I am, but that's disrespectful and he's not showing you that you can trust him by getting involved to the point that he's taking pictures of naked women. I have a friend in your situation with never having a sitter and what she does is laughs at him when he's being a dick and just goes out on her own and leaves him with their son. He's not the jealous type, but he knows how it feels now considering that he goes out to watch the games all the time without even asking how she feels about it. I did it to my fiance with my first daughter. When she was about 7 months I went to work part time as a waitress and after work on the weekends, I'd go out. Why should they have all the fun?

    Answer by tcarter1981 at 12:07 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • we've already told you about this when he was even thinking about going without you. He has his own life without you. That is disrespectful to you. He doesn't care about you or your feelings. (sorry but he's just repeatedly shown he's a self centered jerk and that you don't matter to him). Find a way to get up with him alone or he's going to keep finding these girls and you will wake up one day being replaced by one of them. Not bashing, just trying to get you to take this seriously. He's telling you a lot by his actions. It's not the weight. It's the fun. He has fun with them. If he had fun with you then he'd have found a way for you to go with him. Does he have pix of you on the computer? He has pix of them on there. Figure it out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • My husband went to Sturgis before we met and I agree with the poster who said that place is about sex, drugs and drinking. He had pictures of a woman with just paint on her body, not one peice of cloth. I wouldn't be terribly concerned about that. I'm more concerned with how you stay home with the kids and he gets to go out. Sometimes you two need to be together without the kids. I'm in the same boat as you. We have no one close by to watch the kids. It can be tough. You are much nicer than me. There is no way I would have told my husband he could go there while I stayed home with the kids. I don't think it's ok for the man to go out all the time and the woman to just stay home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • The first bad sign is that he went without you!

    Answer by MommyKKay at 1:30 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

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