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do you always explain why they are in trouble to your kids...i'll explain

i think i overtalk things to my kids...i explain to them over and over why this or that is not ok...my 8 year old daughter is bad about putting her hands in my face like she's play fighting or dancing and does her hands right in my face real quick...i think it is disrespectful and rude...not to be overly picky, she does it alllll the time. i have told her over and over. i think its probly obvious from the way i type i pvertalk things!!!! haha..i just wanna know do u say you shouldn't do this bc...blah...blah..blah..or just "go to your room" "go to tthe corner" etc.??? the children in question are 6 and 8.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Aug. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • I speak short, concise sentences to my ds in terms he can understand. I try to keep them simple and to the point. Anything long and excessive tends to go through one ear and out the other. His attention span (almost 10) is pretty short, so I say what I have to say and only that.
    As I like to call it, Reader's Digest version.
    I will tell him what the issue is and why, but not go on and on and on and on and on about it.
    Short and simple. Fewer words the better.
    Picture cues might be helpful too.
    Melindakc

    Answer by Melindakc at 12:50 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I don't over do it. I explain what she's in trouble for, why it's wrong, how to hadle a situation in the future. It's better to teach them than to just punish them.

    I think the most important thing you can teach is how to deal with things in different ways, so they know how to handle life when you're not there.
    tcarter1981

    Answer by tcarter1981 at 12:56 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I keep it short and sweet, but I always explain what the children have done wrong. They need to understand why what they do is wrong or they cannot learn.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I have a toddler and she gets punished then we talk. you were in time out becuase you hit or you threw and that's not nice, etc. To the point, but try to make sure she can understand. I think it'd be the same with your kids. Punish, then ask them why they are in trouble. If they can't answer, then tell them. I think it would work great if they explain to you what the did.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I do explain the point behind the rules and behavior expectations to my kids. But not every time. Once they know something is not allowed and have had it explained and can explain back to me why it is not allowed, they don't get an explanation every time. They get something along the lines of, "You are doing X and you know that is not allowed. Go to time out"
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 1:41 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • We give our kids "think about its" essentially a time out. If we observe poor behavior we put them on the chair...one min for every year they are. When time is up, we ask THEM to tell us why they have been put there, so they get practice in thinking about their own behavior and the consenquences. We then ask them to tell us what a better choice would have been. Then we thank them and reassure them we love them, that they are not bad, they just made a poor choice. It really has worked for us. Good luck.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:50 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I have always had the one-time rule. The main concept you want to teach is obedience to authority and that will evolve into their obeying rules and regulations and laws. The problem with your children is that they do not respect your authority and they are operating under their own. The best way to teach respect and obedience is to tell them one time to stop doing or start doing whatever you want done. That's it. They either obey you or they don't. If they don't obey, you immediately spank them, explaining that you love them too much to allow them to develop habits of disrespect and disobedience. Time outs do not teach this. Taking things away do not teach this. Spanking teaches it and it doesn't take very long. Disrespect of authority brings pain. Better they learn that now than sitting in jail somewhere down the road.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:51 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • yeah don't draw out what you need to say ...say it quick,fast and simple something as simple as "hands down ! not okay, time out " would work she is 8 and she knows what is right and wrong. if you say too many workds they turn you off.....
    justgrape723

    Answer by justgrape723 at 3:16 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • If I don't think they know why I'm upset I do explain it to them, but I try to keep it short and simple. That's REALLY hard for me because I tend to get wordy, but it works much better if I keep it short and sweet and they actually listen instead of tuning me out. If it's something they've heard before, I'll often say just ONE word. For instance, if ds forgets to put his shoes by the door again, I just say "Cameron, SHOES" Of if my dd leaves her toys at the bottom of the stairs again, I say "Catherine, TOYS" They know exactly what I mean and they just do it. It works so much better for me than a 10 minute lecture on how I've asked them over and over and over to...yada, yada, yada.
    jessradtke

    Answer by jessradtke at 5:59 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

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