Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you think marriage is an important ingredient to create stability for children?


Answer Question
 
proud2Bmomma

Asked by proud2Bmomma at 1:38 PM on Aug. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Not necessarily...
    I think love, commitment and loyalty between the two parents is an important ingredient.

    My grandmother always used to rant that she didn't understand why marriage was a big deal. She claimed she didn't need a piece of paper telling her what she already knew. But then again, she was a hippie... lol. But I agree to that philosophy to a certain point.
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 1:40 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • NO
    LuvMyBoyzz

    Answer by LuvMyBoyzz at 1:44 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • YES. It's a commitment, but it's also more than that. It bind two people together not only by their word (which in this day and age is easily broken) but by law, which makes it much harder to just walk away.
    I also think people need to think before they get married, but I do especially think it's important to be married before having kids. I would never let my school age kids spend the night with a friend who had a single mom that was living with a man who was not her husband. I am teaching my kids that you marry first, then live together, not the other way around.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 1:48 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • nope, it's just a bonus. Children can have plenty of stability in their lives even when their parents are divorced or are together but not married. That piece of paper doesn't make life any better or easier.
    HisMommySince07

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 1:51 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Yes.

    So is sugar to a cookie recipe. Without it, it's just not the same.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • wow, missanc, that's a little shallow, don't you think?? Your child can't be friends with a child being raised by a single mom who has a boyfriend?? whatever, I would NEVER marry someone without living with them first, b/c you don't truly know someone until you live with them.
    HisMommySince07

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 1:55 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • No, I don't think it's shallow to stand behind what I believe in. I was a single mom with a boyfriend, I have no problem with that; I only have a problem with it if my child is seeing another man living with a woman that he is not married to.
    And - I truly knew my husband before I married him. I didn't need to know which way he left the toilet paper on the roll to know what kind of man he is.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 2:01 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • To an extent.

    I think a healthy marriage is an important ingredient to create stability for children. But marriage itself doesn't always mean that. Unfortunately.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 2:13 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I do think it is important. I think the statistics are pretty clear that kids that grow up in single parent homes do not do as well as those who live with a married couple. There are always exceptions of course....
    JustAMom2008

    Answer by JustAMom2008 at 2:15 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Yes, it does make a difference. Children are extremely sensitive to their surroundings, even when they are too young to even understand what the circumstances are. They are born with a need for bonding with both parents and with a need for permanency. This is what gives children a sense of security. The idea that marriage is just a piece of paper has done much damage to the concept of family. Marriage is a covenant and it is to be permanent. It is a saying to the world that from all the people on this planet, I choose you above all others, and I choose you for the rest of my life. I will be here for you and I will be here for our children. Anything less than that is temporary, and children instinctively know that their lives could change at any moment. To believe that the only difference is a "piece of paper" is to believe a lie. One day, you will know the truth but it will be too late for your children's security.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:16 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.