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My sister is in a bad relationship...

She's been living with this guy for almost a year now, and nobody on his side of things knows about that. Like he doesn't want anyone to know they live together. He says it's because people would get mad at him for religious reasons. When he goes out, he doesn't want her with him. So they never go out together. He's mean to her and they fight all the time. She's thinking they will get married, When he's mad at her he says "now that's why I won't marry you" I have only spoken to him 6-7 times and they have been together for over six years. Last week he went out and never came home and had his phone shut off. He said he went to a hotel with his friends. She started packing bags and he sat there playing video games. Shouldn't he have tried to stop her from leaving if he cared at all? I don'y know how to make her see that he's no good for her. She says that she can't throw all those years away. Can anyone help?


Asked by Rachel24517 at 1:39 PM on Aug. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,548 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • There really isn't much you can do to convince her she's in a bad relationship. The more you push her, the more she'll try to "prove" you wrong. Just let her know your there for her, and will be supportive when she decides she wants to leave him.

    I agree with you if he cared about her he'd have tried to stop her from leaving. If he cared about her he wouldn't hide their relationship. If he cared about her he wouldn't stay out all night and turn his phone off......but of course you know all these things, that's why your concerned.

    Whatever your sister decides to do you just need to be there for her and try to support her in her choices.

    Answer by robinann5 at 5:06 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Bless her heart, it must be hard to be in love with someone like that. It 's hard to get someone to realize that the person they are with is bad for them. My sister tells me all the time that I deserve better than what I have (which I know in my heart is true) but until I'm ready to let him go, it will go on like this. Same way with your sister. Until she is ready to get herself out of this situation, she will remain with him. Wish I could be of more help, but you guys are in my prayers, good luck to you and your sister!

    Answer by jillisue808 at 1:43 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Tell her it's better to throw those 6 years away && find someone who truly loves her vs. throwing away another 6 && be unhappy. IMO, spending 6 years unhappy is wasting them anyway. Life is too short to be unhappy.

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 1:47 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I agree with jill and hismommy. Though the best thing that you can do is to be there for her and encourage her. Nagging about him will only make things worse and may turn her to stay with him longer just out of spite. Let her know that she is always welcome to stay with you if they get in another fight. If she does come and stay with you, don't talk about her relationship, just listen to her vent...
    My family thinks that my hubby and father of my four kids, isn't right for me and they think he abuses me mentally, but I am neverr leaving him. My family has only pushed me away, because everytime I go anywhere with them, they nag about my hubby! You don't want to push your sister away, so don't say anything about her relationship. That is the absolute worst thing you can do.

    Answer by mammacjjc85 at 1:56 PM on Aug. 17, 2009