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How do I get in the mood to get it on like I used to?

I used to enjoy sex with my husband... I had a baby should that really change it that much? I mean I want to want to have sex but when it comes right down to it I cant get in the mood... Its almost like nothing turns me on... My sister says breast feeding lowers your libo and want for sex but come on is there anything I can do to make it better? Its not just me my husband wants a sex life too but I dont know how to get into it.. I try and I will but then in a fleeting second it can be gone..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Aug. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • i WANT to know too........ i've been Bfing for NOW 5 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and we've only had sex maybe 3 times since baby came ...

    with my other children this did not happen......... i've also read that hormones and added w the bfing can cause "sensory overload" and the woman will not enoy even being touched (this is ME!)

    i hope you get some advice- i'm in the same boat :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • if possible, set aside some time for just you and your husband. Get a babysitter, have a drink so you can relax and spend some time just cuddling, reconnecting. Light some candles, play some soft music, have plenty of lube on hand. After I had my son, it took a little more work the first few times we had sex to get out of mommy mode and back into lover mode. But then, the more you do it, the easier it gets to flip that switch.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 2:14 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I feel like I want to so bad its just so hard... For one thing 15 weeks later Im sory I dont care what they say its still sore to have sex but I want my love life back I just havent firgured out how to get in the mood... Its almost like nothing even feels good... nothing turns me on... its driving me crazy!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • After I had my son my husband and I needed to "court" each other again. I lost my sex drive and alot of it came from emotional issues...life changing, being a new mom, etc. I had to step back, get back into the groove of everything in order to be sexual happy again.
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 2:51 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Fake it til you make it!! That's what I tell everyone with this issue. Just go ahead and do it, pretend your into it, and before you know it you will be!
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 4:17 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I dont think I could fake it... makes me feel like Im lying to my husband....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • The faking it advice did not work for me either... actually made me hate my husband for making me have sex when I wasn't in the mood and I would never get in the mood from the sex. Made me want to be as far away from my DH as I could be. It led to a lot of fighting and arguments. Finally, we both just gave up. He gave up pushing me and I gave up giving in when I wasn't in the mood. After about 2 months, I had my sex drive back. But your DH has to be willing to give you this space and the time to try it out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

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