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I am ready to just cut my family OFF!

My family lives one state over...about a 30-45 minute drive from me...NO ONE has offered to watch my 6 year old when I go into labor..My DH's family sucks and is pretty much non existent. For our baby shower they all showed up as guests and left as guests..no one helped set up or clean up afterwards. I am the one in the family who is always going above and beyond for others...ALWAYS offering to help and being there. My grandmother is supposed to come but I want a back up plan since she's scheduled to go away in 2 weeks...I'm due in 3 weeks. I would hate if my DH had to stay home with our son because we had no one to watch him. I just sent out a text to two aunts and one cousin asking if they could come over. One aunt responded that she's booked until November because her daughter works overtime and her other daughter is in school...she baby sits thier kids. I also asked my brother and he couldn't give me a def answer.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Aug. 17, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I can see how you would be frustrated. I would expect my mom and dad to keep my dd if I were having a baby. It is stressful when you know you have to be somewhere and you dont have a babysitter. CAnt even imagine with labor! I wounldnt cut them off, btu in your mind you will have to quit expecting to depend on them...then you wont be as let down cause you wont expect anything anyway. I agree with hiring a babysitter. Do you know a fun college student? An older neighbor? I would be sure it is somone who can drive so they can visit after baby is born and someone your son knows. Good luck!!!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 2:58 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • OP---CONT'd. I am truly hurt over this...I just can't believe that no one is coming to my rescue when I am always running to them. I said to myself that I'm DONE. When they have parties, etc. I won't offer to cook, help out, etc. When they need help in anyway I will never offer again and just won't make them a priority ever again. Am I being selfish? Emotional because I'm pregnant?? Or am I right to feel totally neglected by them?

    I guess some of my feelings are built up from previous things...but this is the ultimate. I am giving birth for Christ sakes.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • you can bring the 6 year old..the LO can just be outside the room if you dont want him in there
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I wouldn't cut them off because they seem like they might be busy with things in their lives. I completely understand the frustration...I live 1600 miles away from anyone in my family and no one came for the birth of either child. We just had to get a babysitter to watch our son when we went into labor with my daughter. It really was planned early on that they would take him when I went to the hospital. As for your in-laws...that's just rude....but who threw the baby shower? If they were only invited as guests, then I wouldn't have expected them to do much. Are you close with them that you can say something about it bothering you without making waves?
    clhadley

    Answer by clhadley at 2:52 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • OP----my hospital gave us strict rules at the tour on Saturday not to bring any children. It's against their policy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • That's F'd up about their policy. I've never heard that. My hospital let my son come in and play around when I had my daughter. He was only 17 months old.
    clhadley

    Answer by clhadley at 2:55 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I know the feelin,do what you have to do and let me know how it goes!!!!
    LOVINEMMORE

    Answer by LOVINEMMORE at 2:55 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • To be honest, its not anyone's responsibility to watch your child when you go into labor...I know in a perfect world, it might be expected but as you can see, it aint happening...so why get yourself upset over the fact that your family cannot watch YOUR child? Hire someone to watch your child when you go into labor and forget about your family helping out...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:22 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • The pp is being unrealistic. I feel that its not familys obligation at all but more their priviledge to get to be involved in my kids lives. I think the OP is wondering why her family doesnt feel like this too. I would totally feel unloved and neglected if everyone treated me like I was last on their priority list. My mom gets upset when we dont call her every other day. She would be devastated if she didnt get to attend the birth of her grandkids. All of our parents are like that and sometimes its just too much. I guess I have it good compared to you, OP. I think that you should draw some boundary lines. Youre going way above and beyond and putting yourself out there to have a relationship with them and then in return, youre getting the short end of the stick. I think you can still have relationship with them but on your terms. Dont expect them to help, but when they need help, make sure you dont drop everything for them.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 3:36 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • momofsaee - that's your opinion on this question...I had mine you have yours...state how you feel and leave me out of it...I said what I felt is correct and you do the same...if you don't agree with me, that's fine---its called your opinion and mine!
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:48 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

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