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It has been two years!

It has been two years, and I still feel like a total loser. My ex husband left me for another woman who is 5'8, has a great job, is very athletic and into sports. I on the other hand am only 5'3, have an ok job, and like to watch maybe basketball, but not good at playing sports. I am also 6 years older than his girlfriend. I've tried the gym, doing my hair different, wearing different clothes and i am no better off feeling good about myself than the day i found out about him and her. How did you do it?

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kimmy1963

Asked by kimmy1963 at 6:23 PM on Aug. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I don't have any advice to offer. Just a comment. You ex husband is the broken one who needs fixed. Not you.
    proud2Bmomma

    Answer by proud2Bmomma at 6:27 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Gosh, proud2bemomma had a great answer. I don't think I can improve on that.

    I was going to say that he sounds very shallow to go after physical appearance, failing in his vows to you. You sound like a lady that has herself mostly together and is intelligent, but right now hurting and a little low in confidence after the treatment you got. Once again I say, Consider the Source. Don't let the neglect and betrayal of a not-very-nice person let you beat yourself up. Lift your head high and move on with your life being the special person that you know you are.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:34 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • stop comparing yourself to her or others. after all he married you first there must be something about you but i think you need to find it before you try to find someone else.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 6:58 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I looked at your profile. You have got it together and then some. There are better men out there that would jump at the chance to be with you.GL.
    bella69147

    Answer by bella69147 at 7:27 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • What???? How do you women know that he left her because of looks??? How do you know that maybe their marriage just wasn't working, maybe they didn't have anything in common but him and this new woman does? Sheesh you are getting one side of the story here. You can say good things to her without bashing him. Just because he left doesn't mean he is this awful horrible broken person. I have read where you women have told other women to leave men over less.
    Sweetie, stop comparing yourself to her, you are not her. You have to find inner strength and beauty. You have to see that he just was not the man for you but somewhere out there, there is a man perfect for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:37 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I left my ex 3.5 years ago and he is insanely jealous of my fiance. I met my fiance a whole year AFTER leaving and it boggles my mind that my ex is still so hung up and comparing himself to him. I'm just saying that because your post makes sounds so similar and I wonder why you are so hung up on comparing yourself to his gf. Move on. Life is way to short and here you've wasted TWO YEARS on this woman comparing yourself. Why??? A man or a woman doesn't leave their spouse unless they are just plain over the marriage. It doesn't matter how young, into sports, tall, short, smart the other person is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Girl your ego took a major hit and I can totally understand why you feel the way you do, but you have NO reason to!! Have you seen a counselor or doctor? When depression lasts this long it may require medication, it could help you big time.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 8:47 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • O.K. you are looking all the externals. She is a two timing ........ He is a looser who cares only about superficial stuff. Quit trying to be her, you can't and shouldn't. You are better inside. You are honest.

    By all means see a councelor and talk this out. If you need them medication can help but I wouldn't just depend on the medication. Talking it out and finding some strong positive friends will help too.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 9:20 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

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