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How do I get him to open up?

My eight year old recently came to live with my husband and I full-time. He still visits his mom every weekend and he seems ok, but he will not talk to us. We have tried to ask him direct questions, tried to have him draw pictures, my mother-in-law tried talking to him, and anything else we can think of. I don't know what to do. He let it slip that his mom's boyfriend is now fighting for custody of their children. I can I get him to open up about how he is feeling about the move, a new school, missing his mom, and possibly losing his siblings?

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XandersMommy74

Asked by XandersMommy74 at 6:54 PM on Aug. 17, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (3)
  • Can I ask the history behind why he didn't live with you? Do you mean step son?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:08 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I'm assuming step son. Even if his sibling's father does get custody does not mean he's losing a sibling. It is up to the father to make sure those two have a relationship. I would have your husband reach out to the guy. Also, have your husband talk to him. He may not feel comfortable talking to you because you're not his mom and he probably feels in a way it's betraying his mom. Will she have visitation? You can reassure him that you want this to be smooth for him and want him to see his mom and sibling. Tell him you'll get his friends' phone numbers from the old school (most schools have a classroom phone # list)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:12 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • I would say, time is what it is going to take, he probably has trust issues right now, as he begins to feel more secure he will talk. Of course best scenario is for him to see all adults in the situatution communicating friendly, but I also know sometimes thats just not possible.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

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