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i dont know what to do

I am bout to lose my mind. My daughter is 13 months old. Her father and I split up and I moved in with my parents. She is always screaming her head off. I understand that she can't talk and express her feelings that well but she can say done no and whatnot. She will not she will scream and throw her self down on the ground. She rather hurt her self. I have tried to say no or be mean but it breaks my heart and she doens't listen. How do I fix this? IDK what to do and I don't want my child to be spoiled and act like this.


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Asked by Madelyn_Marie at 8:58 PM on Aug. 17, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (6)
  • Maybe it's the traumatic event surrounding her. Try to get into a predictable routine for her. Not have a lot of yelling and negative behaviors around her. Be reassuring and loving....try to get your parents to support you and do the same things you are doing.

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 9:37 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Ok this is something that will require BIG time patience on your part bt I swear if you persist it will work. I guareentee it. When she screams say this (idk her name bt the formua is the same for every situation, lets use my dd as an example with the problem being that she wants something and isnt getting it) "elliana, I know that you want to play with that toy and its hard when you cant do what you want, but screaming is NOT okay, you need to use your words, I am going to count to three and if you cannot use your words you will have to go cool down (or go to timeout)" then count reminding her each number what she needs to do and what the conseqences will be if she doesnt. ("one you need to use your words or you will have to go to time out, two ((the same)).) This next part is very important, when you get to three you must follow through with the dicipline it wont work otherwise. Not four, not please elliana do this.

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 11:52 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • She then stays in time out for the mins of her age (1 min for 1 year old etc.) and after that time, go to her, get down on her level and look her in the eye, and say, do you want to tell mommy what you want? If she screams, hits, throws another tantrum she stays in time out for another age vs mins session. When she talks to you or is reasonable, then say, "ok, mommy doesnt like it when you (fill in the blank), mommy loves you though. When we are (fill in blank) we (fill in blank) we dont (scream hit whatever). (For example: "when we are angry we use our words, we dont scream"). Ok? (make sure she responds in some way a yes a nod whatever). Then give her what she wanted if she expressed herself. The first week will be hell, but in two or three weeks, if you do this EVERY time, you wont ever really get past one. It may seem repetitive but lets face it, toddlers thrive on repetiion and schedules.

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 11:59 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

  • Using patience is your best bet. Talk to your daughter before she's done eating and tell her when she's done eating to say "done". If she is throwing a fit let her throw it as long as it's not putting her in danger. After a few times of getting no response she will realize that it's not working and decide to talk. You can distract yourself and your baby by talking to somebody around you or act like you're really interested in something such as an interesting toy. Ignoring tantrums gives them the time to realize for themselves that it's not going to get them anything.

    Answer by Blueloveaura at 9:44 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Start with the counting and if she continues to scream on timeout then you need to remove yourself from the room. Not being there is important if you give her attention while she is throwing the fits she will continue to throw them if you ignore her when she throws her fits then she will eventually stop as it isn't getting her what she wants. Its hard and takes a lot of patience but this behaivor is just a brick in the road to her future behavior its best to redirect her now then later. Good luck

    Answer by juscamouse at 12:49 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Mines 11 months and he does it too. Hold firm, its painful and horrible but hold firm. good Luck!

    Answer by FuzNet at 6:13 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

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