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my son the bully

I am a single-working mom to a 16 yr old. He has been running with a crowd of friends that have the "dont care about anything" type attitudes. His dad and I have joint custody, and wants to move to his house. Those reasons: he doesn't have to to homework, doesn't have a curfew, no boundries & no rules. I am against it , but I can't tell him NOT to live there. But, my son leaves in 6 days and is being the rudest, meanest bully to me. I just want to get along before he leaves. What can I do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:05 AM on Aug. 18, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • It doesn't matter if he lives with you or his Dad. He needs some form of discipline. Do you pay for his cell phone? Take it away. Just disconect the sevice on it. Computer, take it away. Talk to him. Tell him you do nt act right you do not get thing"Perks".
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:15 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Send him to his dads sooner. He is acting like a little shit. AT this point he is almost a man so he will have to start dealing with the consequences. Tough love.
    Doodlesrevenge

    Answer by Doodlesrevenge at 8:19 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Bullying YOU? His mother? At 16 YEARS old? He's old enough to get knocked right on his ass... or popped right in the mouth.
    LyTe684

    Answer by LyTe684 at 8:20 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • well his dad lives in another state. so how can I do anything?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • You call the father and tell him to pick his son up. Or drive your son's ass there. I think there comes a point where you have to set boundaries even with your own child. I imagine that he has crossed many lines before and you let him slide. Now it is time for you to woman up.
    Doodlesrevenge

    Answer by Doodlesrevenge at 8:25 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • I did disconnect the phone and even disconnected his internet. PS3 was taken away and he can't take it with him. I have grounded him, and he had nothing. so he would sneek out and then I nailed all windows shut and got a cheap alarm for the doors. that helped. but he says he gets "respected" at his dads and that I just try and keep him prisoner
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Respect is EARNED, not given. And it seems like he is GIVEN respect at his dads, and NOT earning it. You and his dad need to talk and come to terms and agree on punishments, etc or he'll never learn to respect you because he'll always be 'right' and 'respected' at dads house. So you'll always end up looking like the bad guy. He needs to know with that attitude there is only TWO ways he will end up. Dead or in jail. He needs BOUNDARIES. Doesn't seem like he's gonna get that with daddy dearest. Time for you to put your foot down...

    BTW, how is he bullying you? With words or is it physical?
    LyTe684

    Answer by LyTe684 at 8:31 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • he might just find out that living with daddy will have rules. It is one thing for no rules while visiting but living there full time will change that attitude. If he gets into trouble and courts get involved dad will have to change that no rule attitude.. He is old enough to choose and sometimes we have to let them in these situations. Talk to the ex and se if you can work out some of the rules with him. If he (the ex) gets calls from authorities rather it be school officials or God forbid the police he will have to make rules. I f it (the trouble attitude) winds up with your son in court then the Judge will make your ex enforce rules or send him back to you. either way it turns out your son will find out living with Daddy isn't so great after all . (my brothers found that out the hardway many years ago and ranaway bak to Momma) good luck. Let him know he can always come home!!
    gmarose

    Answer by gmarose at 11:41 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • he is bullying me with words. throwing it up in my face that hrs moving so he doesn't have to follow my rules anymore......ok I have been talking to his dad for the past hour. he told him that he will have consequences for his actions. but I hope his dad sees how he is and does more than that. I love my son and want what's best. thank you all
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

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