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As a mother in law would you be upset if you were not allowed in the delivery room but your DILs mother was? Or would you understand that there is a stronger bond between them?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on Aug. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • When/if my sons marry (they are 3 years and 7 months old) I don't expect their wives (if they marry women) to let me in the delivery room. I am not their mother. Why would they want me there? Hell I didn't even want my mother there.

    Answer by purpleducky at 10:36 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • I wouldn't be upset.
    there is a stronger bond between a mother and a daughter rather than a mother in law and daughter.
    and the fact she may not feel comfortable with the MIL in the room

    Answer by kittenripmaygo at 10:42 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • I am a MIL. I was tremendously touched and honored when my younger and a few years later the older son invited me, with their wive's permissions, to be present at delivery. I had secretly wished to be, but I never would have asked, so it was a wonderful surprise that I was invited,and I'll always remember the kindness in addition to the experience. It didn't occur to me that I might be invited because this is such an emotional experience for the new mom, and both of my DIL's are very close to their own mothers, who were also present. To answer your question directly, I understood entirely that there was a stronger bond and that if anyone other than the daddy was allowed there that it would be the new mom's mother. That I was invited was a touching and wonderful thing. If I had not been invited there would have been no ill will or resentment at all.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:43 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • I allowed my MIL in the room when I had my DD, My mother is not good with blood and such, Yes I did want her there but I new she would'nt be able to handle it. So she was in the waiting room once I started pushing. My MIL was in the back and allowed her son(My DH) to be there for me.

    To answer your question I would be a little disppointed but I would not take it to heart. Just be there in the waiting room and once she has the baby you will be there to share the moment. Congats Grandma :~)

    Answer by raemommy at 10:44 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • No, she the one giving birth she needs to be comfortable. I know I'm not comfortable with my mil being in the room with me. Plus how would you feel if your daughters mil barged in and started making your little girl really uncomfortable while her vagina a butt was spread wide on a table. Or if your sons mil barged in on him while getting a colon exam. Why does everyone think the delivery room is like some broadway production and everyone wants a front row seat. Give the parents some privacy.

    Answer by Jillybeans24 at 10:46 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Not a MIL, but from the birth side, I never wanted anyone in the room with me, not even my mom. But once I was in labor, I didn't care who was in there!! :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • I only have a daughter, but hope to have a son also. If I do, when he has a baby of his own one day....I would never EXPECT to be in the delivery room...........hell, I don't EXPECT to be in with my daughter.............she has to ask me first. It won't be my baby or my vagina............I can only wait to be asked and if I"m not, well then I'm not. I will wait happily and anxiously in the waiting room!!

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 11:05 AM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • I have 3 sons. If they ever get married and decide to have kids I would never expect or demand to be in the delivery room. If my son and dil would like me to be there and ask me to be in the delivery room then I would. I would not be upset or offended if my dil has her mom in and I am not asked. I would instead ask if I could be in the waiting room or if it would be ok to come to the hospital right after the birth to see the new baby.
    As a mom- who had a pushy uninvited mil barge in on a delivery- I know what it is like and I would not want to be like that to my dil.

    Answer by MizLee at 1:04 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Nope I would not be upset. I would understand completely. I wouldn't even expect to be in the room with my own daughter. Giving birth is a very personal experience and it should be completely up to the woman giving birth who she wants in the room.

    Answer by feesharose at 1:04 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

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