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Have you ever felt like your Mother Hates you or you Hate her?

My mom has kept my oldest dd for some yrs now as a result to a teen pregnancy. Now I have been trying to get my dd and she's turned my dd against me. I called my dd a few wks back n she was all excited n ready to come and when we got there she sat in my moms room just looking scared n crying. She wouldn't even talk to me. So I feel like my mom turned her against me cause she knows we won't be sending $ anymore. My dd has always been provided for but my mom is 68 n won't let her wear the cute lil stylish clothes we send (Hannah Montana EVERYTHING) and A&F, Hollister, etc.... she' s 11 n only has friends during the school yr. she didn't do anything all summer cause when I got there my mom basically was telling her not to come with us. We own a 3br hm in a nice neighborhood w/kids her age, she is sharing a rm w/ a full bd with my mom n a single wide w/ my lazy A** aunt who is pathetic. DSS says all rights are mine, go get her.

 
SemperFiesty29

Asked by SemperFiesty29 at 1:04 PM on Aug. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (6 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • U know your situation better than anyone but I can tell u this much. It doesn't take much to turn a kid against another person. I don't mean it happened. I mean humans are a lot like animals. They like to be where they are allowed to be themselves. Where they are not discriminated for having xtra legs or keen senses. Where they receive their basic necessities. Sharing or not has nothing to do w/ Hannah Montana or extra space. Even socializing with little friends is secondary to an extent. Home environment is very important to anyone. Ur DSS is right and u will know if u r hurting your kid or not by bringing her home. However the relationship u have w/ your mother should be put into persepective and your kid should be completely left out of it. Do not use her as a pawn. Meditate to the time b4 she was in any of your lives and how things went and u will know what I mean.
    milmiracle

    Answer by milmiracle at 1:48 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Also my mom has told the school principal a crop of bs saying my daughter will be moving far away with someone she doesn't know... meaning my dh cause she's not really been around him cause he's in the military.
    SemperFiesty29

    Answer by SemperFiesty29 at 1:05 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • I say go get her too.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 1:05 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Go get her!
    StifflersMom82

    Answer by StifflersMom82 at 1:16 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Go get your daughter. It doesnt matter what your mom is telling her, she is your daughter. I dont feel as if an 11 y/o should get to choose between moms and grammas house, you are the parent, go get her and get things to a "normal" in your house for her. It may be a little bit of a battle at first, but its your decision to make
    SuperMomof3kids

    Answer by SuperMomof3kids at 1:29 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • And you left her there because......?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • I'm not sure what the question is or why the drama. She is your daughter. You have the right to parent your child or you have the right to walk away and just visit your child. That is up to you. If you want to raise your child, provide for her, and establish a more everyday relationship: go get her. If you want to play games with your mother, by all means continue as your doing. You owe this child a good life. If that means it is with your mother then let her stay. If that means being with you then you go and get her. As far as what your mother has told the school - it doesn't matter. She is your daughter. Are you a mother or are you just a child yourself pretending to be an adult? Just go get her! And if you don't, don't stop paying to support your child. That shows you are truly not an adult you are just playacting as one.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 3:21 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Thank you for all your answers!
    To answer the one ANON, why did I leave? Well b4 I met my dh I was in another long term relationship of 5yrs and we were planning to get married. I worked full time M-F and school FT after work and also a Job w/ Hospice on Saturday alternating weekends. My then fiance started using drugs and eventually they took over and he started selling things out of our home and taking $ from my acct until I was basically broke. I left him! Moved in w my sister n he came to her house hid behind a bush and kidnapped me when no one was home! Drove me across state lines to a secluded area and beat me up, broke jaw(wired),nose broke, chipped my teeth, I literally begged 4 my life and told him we could work it out just to get back safely. He went to jail, got out on bond n all he ever got was probation! I left the state to go live w/ my sis in VA and being that I had nothing I felt it was best my dd stay...
    SemperFiesty29

    Answer by SemperFiesty29 at 6:04 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • with my mom. So I got a job in a few mo's and eventually met my dh now a few yrs later. We had to go to CA for 9 mo's and then now to here(he's military) so I didn't see the point in taking her in and out of schools when it was already enough to change surroundings. Now my mom knows I am serious and I don't pay her child support through the court it is just on my own will! I send clothes and what ever is asked. I even give my mom $ for her own personal needs! But for this to happen I feel it's wrong. I am going to get my dd on the 29th so I will know she is in a positive environment and is able to develop without fear of going to hell in firey under wear for wearing shorts or lip gloss.. that's how my family is. I've felt like my mom dislikes me b4 all this but moreso is jealous b/c she wanted to be w/ my dad who is a baptist minister she never married and he married someone else and i'm married n okay.IDK,it will be over soon
    SemperFiesty29

    Answer by SemperFiesty29 at 6:12 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

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