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I have had it with my husband's moods....

My daughter (from an abusive relationship) is almost 7 years old. She has only ever known one father and that is my husband. We have been together for almost 5 years. We got together when my daughter was 2. They fell inlove with eachother and ever since he has been 'daddy'. We got married about a year and a half ago. He adopted her officially shortly after. There relationship has been pretty solid until about 2 years ago almost. Things started to change. He picks at everything she does. He is so controlling. She can't stand it so she gets sassy or doesn't listen to him. They argue like a couple of kids. My husband gets extremely moody with her. If I say anything to him he gets mad at me and I don't understand it. I don't talk down to him. I just try to have peace between them. I have given him plenty of space and understanding to what stress he may have in his life. I don't expect him to do anything that he feels he..cont..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Aug. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • can't do. I have a routine with my daughter that I stick to with her. I take care of her mostly. He helps here and there but usually it is a big ordeal. I thought he may be depressed so we went to a counselor together and it came out that he just lived this way growing up. So he is acting those ways for attention. So we give him attention. I ask for us to do things as a family and I have gotten them to agree to that. Things still suck though. He still is controlling. We stopped going to counseling after a month and a half. Nothing was changing between them. Maybe he is just a moody guy?? I don't know. Is there anyone who has a moody husband?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • ....Oh and he drags his moody behavior over to having to do anything...like cleaning up or having to buy groceries. I do mostly everything but if I ask and I mean ask him to help me out he whines.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • When someone changes behavior like he did, they say to get them a physical exam because it is often some physical cause.

    My husband rarely gets moody, and when he does it is from pressure at work.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:13 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • You need to sit down w/ a piece of paper & discuss your disciplinary techniques. You need to adress what you'll tolerate & what you will not tolerate. He needs to express how he would like her to be disciplined, & you guys need to come up w/ a compromise. You cannot allow him to treat her a way that you dont like, but you also have to respect how he would like her to be dicsiplined. If he does something you don't like, then you need to discuss it in private.

    I remember i got SO MAD at my S.O. for calling my daughter a baby, I thought this was very belittling, & told him i WILL NOT ALLOW BELITTLING in my household. He got huffy puffy w/ me, but he never did it again. You have to put your foot down, & let him know what is OK & what is not.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:19 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • My SO can be moody at times. he actually does think he has a chemical imbalance, because sometimes its way more frequent than others. BUT, he is very sweet & compassionate. We both know when he is in one of his moods & we just leave eachother alone. DD and i will go to the pool or movies to give him a breather. He also cooks & helps clean. But, there HAVE been times where i thought "whoa", he doesn't seem right. He is not controlling though. Of course he will TRY to get his way like most men do, but i've always been one to stick to my guns. He knows he can't walk over me. Maybe you need to toughen up a bit. Don't let him control you. You are alolwing him to do so. And men get used to that. If you want things to change, then take steps to change it. Just because he was raised some way does not mean that he can act that way forever. People need to learn their own life lessons, & you need to teach him a few good ones!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:26 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • a controller is just that and they are not easy to live with. Just ask him what to do to make it better
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:28 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

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