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My SO did this to my son..Is this right and should he go?

I am pretty upset right now with my sons father. We live together and arent married. I stay at home with my son and he works. He does nothing with his son and its nothing for him to not see him for a few day at time b/c he works from 830-5 then he has saide jobs he does and he doesnt come home till late. I understand he works but he makes no time for us and i do everythin. My son is very attached to me, but when his father is home i try to get him to do things w/ him. Well last nite i fed my son and said you play w/ daddy. I went outside after about 10 min he called my phone and said " you done you better come get you're son b/c he throwing a fite and i'm going to beat his a**! I came back in and he had put him in his bed screaming and slammed the door on him. When I came in to my son he was crying so hard it was horrible and he was very clingy to me for hrs after. He has NO PATIENCE with him and i don't know what to do.

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Asked by gavinsmoma at 3:25 PM on Aug. 18, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (9)
  • what does your gutt say?
    do not try to explain it away, make escuses, use money or other issues to decide for you

    what does your gut say?

    Answer by boredmom44 at 3:28 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • reread your question

    My SO did this to my son..

    this is very telling of where your mind and heart are


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Thank you!! Thats what o thought to, but you know how we need that extra confirmation!!

    Answer by gavinsmoma at 3:32 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • I would be extremely upset, but then when I was with my ex I didn't leave them alone with their dad either.

    Answer by missanc at 3:34 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • I guess if he's making no effort with being WITH the family other than financial support and doesn't even want to spend 10 mintues without wanting to beat your son, I wouldn't EVER feel comfortable with that - Is this really the type of father you want your son to have to grow up with the rest of his life ? But you also have to consider if you left, would he want custody? IF SO, you would legally have to let him see his son but HOW could you let him ? like how could you ever feel safe? its a hard situation. WAs he always like this? IS he this brutal and rude to you when he's home?

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:35 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Seems to me he's not a father at all.

    According to your profile, your son is two. Have things ALWAYS been this way?

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:44 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Hes not abusive with us and he has done nothing with him since he was born its been me. He would never get custody everyone knows how he is and doenst care to try to help.

    Answer by gavinsmoma at 3:50 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Aw...I feel sad for your son just reading this. Poor kid.

    To answer your question, the father is in the wrong - there is no excuse to treat a child that way, especially when they hardly ever see the kid. It sounds like he needs parenting classes and anger management classes. Would he consider going to something like that? (probably not....but it sure is what he needs). I think a lot of guys don't know how to act around little kids and feel overwhelmed when they're left alone with them. It doesn't make his behavior ok, but it's not as rare as you might think. He needs help and guidance. However, if he doesn't think there's a problem and sees no reason to change, your child deserves to have a mom who stands up for him and keeps him safe, physically AND emotionally. Having no father is better than having an abusive father.

    Answer by goldenfox at 4:05 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • my question is what happened in those 10 minutes you were outside to warrant your son to throw such a fit? and why was he so clingy afterwards?for your son to act like that his father had to do something to him other than putting him on his bed and closing the door. curious

    Answer by b4byd0ll at 6:23 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

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