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13 year old boy and Titanic?

My sis-in-law informed me on Saturday that she caught her 13 year old son rewinding Titanic to watch the part of the naked girl being drawn (I haven't seen this movie in forever, but I know what she is talking about, but can't remember the characters names). She said that she is now making them take a vow before God at church to not have sex before they get married (they as in her son, 13, and daughter, 11). What would you do if you caught your 13 year old boy rewinding movies to see naked girls? My boys are only 3 and 2 so I don't know what I would do, but I don't think I would freak out like she has...?


Asked by mammacjjc85 at 3:30 PM on Aug. 18, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (17)
  • What good is a vow if you're force to say it?
    I tell my kids that everything is natural. Little kids think the opposite sex have cooties and that's natural. Medium size kids are incredibly curious but naked bodies are "gross", and that's natural. Then big kids have desires, and that's natural. God made us, we're mammals, it's all natural.

    What makes us different is that we CONTROL ourselves. We hold hands despite cooties when the elem. teacher requests it. We seek to see males and females and learn about them, but not in secretive, wierd ways. (ads, art, movies...good; peeping toms, daring friends to undress, porn...bad) Then we save our urges and desires for one special person. It's a progression. It's natural.

    Freaking out tells the kid he's weird or crazy. She should stay calm, reassure him he's normal, and help him learn in acceptable ways. Got an art museam nearby?

    Answer by cutiemoose at 11:19 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Id laugh, explain the birds and the bees to him and tell him if he needs condoms later to just ask.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:36 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • She's making too much of it. The CERTAIN way to get a kid to be even more curious is to freak out.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:39 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • I should add that she has been Christian for 5 years (I think), and I am also Christian. Though we both believe VERY differently and she kind of seems close minded especially since I am younger than her and I am married to her "baby" brother.
    We both believe in waiting until you are married to have sex and had both made the "mistake?" of having sex before marraige. I do not regret having sex before marraige because I am still with him, now married and am pregnant with our 4th child. she says that she doesn't regret it, but wishes that she would have waited because she has "attachments" to hubby that she is "needing" to break.
    So laughing and offering condoms are not an option for me as I believe in teaching my kids to respect themselves and others and to wait till marraige, but I also believe that she is enabling her children to make there own decisions.

    Answer by mammacjjc85 at 3:54 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Umm.. Boys will be boys. Enough said.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Totally normal behavior for boys this age. If it wasn't the Titanic scene, it would be the bra ads in the department store flyers. They are curious and I totally agree with the above post that the certain way to make them be more curious and more secretive about it is to freak out.

    My theory is that there isn't a right age to talk about sex, just the right moments. And I would have used that as a good opportunity to discuss my child's changing hormones and emotions with them, see what their questions were and where they were coming from. I also would have taken that opportunity to point out that women come in many shapes and sizes, and not to expect real life naked women to necessarily look like Kate Winslet.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:57 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • I think it just is a good time to have a talk with my son. I think sometimes as parents we are shocked that our babies grow up to fast, so she maybe just over reacted in the moment...after she is over the initial shock maybe she will handle it differently. However abstinence is not a bad idea.

    Answer by Rebecca727 at 4:01 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • OMG!! It's a freakin movie.. not like he was watching porn, they get curious especially at his age. The more responsible thing would have been for her to sit down and explain the stuff to him.

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 4:29 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Talk about overreacting!

    This is completely normal for kids this age, especially boys. They are becoming sexual beings and responding to that.

    Now is the time to have the masturbation discussion and explain how there is a time and a place for such activity. It should be stressed that masturbation is normal and healthy.

    It makes me so mad when people try to put a sin-spin on natural sexuality.

    Answer by Mousuke at 4:30 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Poor kid...if his mom's that bent up over what is a natural curiosity at that age then his life is truly gonna suck.

    Answer by Heathercurlz at 5:05 PM on Aug. 18, 2009