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What to do with my 4yr old step son?

I have a 4yr old step son and a 3yr old step daughter! They are not your average toddlers! The little boy is worse than the little girl! We have taken his tv away, put soap in his mouth, put him in the corner, whooped him, grounded him from his toys! i dont know what else to do! As soon as he stops crying he is doing the same thing again! Im on nerve meds but i think we need to be putting him on something! He will look at me and do just what i tell him not to do! He has no respect for females(me or his mama)! Ive just about gave up!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Aug. 18, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (5)
  • Give him back to his mom obviously you cant handle them. Also FYI putting soap in theirh mouths is child abuse. I hope their mom reports you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • and btw....i put soap in my child's mouth! I dont see where its nothing wrong with putting soap in their mouth! It dont hurt them and it dont harm them in anyway!!

    Answer by calliesmama09 at 3:40 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • love him. over exaggerate when ever they do something good. "Oh my goodness! i LOVE how quietly you are sitting there reading those books/watching tv" "Thank you thank you thank you for using inside voices" "WOW! i cant believe how good you guys are sharing! i love it when you get along and share your toys" ect ect.

    i know that's probably not the answer you are hoping for but studies show that children (and ppl in general) will respond to attention. If you only give them/him lots of attention (negative) when he is being bad and rarely give him attention (positive) when he is being good, he's going to act out in order to get more attention.

    Also try spending some one on one time with each child. Take the boy out for ice cream or an hour at the park.
    Read a book with the little girl. Sing songs and dance. just you and her

    Answer by outstandingLove at 3:42 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Sweetie, soap in the mouth is considered abusive. While many people still use it as a method of punishment it can be very dangerous for a child. Please don't do that again. If whipping, standing in the corner, and other punishments are not working that should tell you something. That tells you that it isn't working and those methods will never work. Try being nice. I mean that in the best way possible. It isn't about punishments. Discpline is about consistancy, routine, knowing what comes next, your parenting philosophy, and how to correct negative behaviors. Try some parenting classes and going to see a family therapist. It is not uncommon for parents to be the ones who need the extra support and guidance. Get some help and support for you and your husband and then the kids will benefit.

    Answer by frogdawg at 3:42 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • The soap in the mouth thing is considered child abuse by law in several states, including the one I live in.

    The first rule of parenting should be never let them see you sweat. It sounds like they can really see that they are giving you a run for your money. It's a control thing. And you need to establish tha you are in control, not them. Use consistent consequences for misbehavior. If you keep changing it around, it becomes a fun game to see what you will come up with next. Nothing works overnight, and it will take some time to change the dynamics. Make clear rules and let them clearly know what happens if they violate the rule. If they do, don't let them see that they are getting to you. Just deal out the consequences calmly and firmly.

    Good luck mama.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:45 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

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