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I just dont know where to go from here

Yesterday when I was trying to unload my dishwasher my husband gabbed me and shook me, scared I went adn grabbed my suitcase and started packing for me adn my infant he came in to teh bedroom adn threw a pop can at me. I left adn went to every local shelter I could find but all of them had no room. I went home and asked my parents for help adn they told me to grow up and act like an adult (not sure what isnt adult about leaving an abusive situation but whatever) anyways I ended up just going back last night. He said he was sorry and wants marriage counselign even though I told him we needed it over a month ago. I dont even know that I want to try anymore but I dont really have very many options I am a stay at home mom with no money and apparently no support. So what would you do?

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Asked by katiekruschke at 5:34 PM on Aug. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,043 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • he hes willing to do the the counseling..maybe that was just a one time incident..NOT DEFENDING HIM. but try counseling..but only if you have both feet in the door so to speak..if you are really done..and be sure of it..then leave.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • First you need to think of what made him mad. Was it just because he felt like being an ass to you or what. If it was a fight over something you did wrong, then maybe you should take couseling with him. But if he just did it because he was pissed at the world and wanted to take it out on you, then leaving might be the only way. Just try to stay on his good side. If you have axcess to his money(like paying the bills or something) put 25 or up away for you just in case. That way if you leave again you'll have money for a motel or maybe anough to travel to a family members house that would take you in.

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 5:42 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Dude needs to go to freaking anger management. And you need to do whatever it takes, go get on public assistance, whatever it takes to keep him away from your child. You have got to be really insecure to stay in a situation where you and your child are in potential danger.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • i was mad at him because like always I was having to do everything around teh house so i was unloading the dishwasher and he walked in to the kitchen grabbed by teh arms screamed "YOU WOKE UP MAD AT ME GO BACK TO BED UNTIL YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE" and shook me i mean things havent been going well for well over 8 months now but I wasnt saying anythign i was just trying to get done my endless number of chores that he takes no aprt in

    Answer by katiekruschke at 5:45 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • i am insecure about the whole thing public assistance doesnt cove rhousing it doesnt cover half teh debt i will inherit with a divorce i dont have a job and dont even have a place to stay i tried to get away but i cant sleep in a van adn live off of nothing with a baby, by myself maybe but not with a baby

    Answer by katiekruschke at 5:47 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • ok did he grab you and push you? or did he grab you and was controlling himself and not hitting you,because some guys will grab and do the whole i wanna scare you but not lay a hand on you,so did it look like he was gonna hit you or should i ask has he ever hit you?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:50 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • nope has never hit me the reality is if i wanted to I could knock his head in to next week, if he was really going to try adn hurt me I could kill him with my bare hands because I am that much stronger but the issue is that he has such little respect for me that he thinks its okay to lay his hands on me in anger

    Answer by katiekruschke at 5:53 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • I can't believe that your parents told you that. I am so sorry!

    Answer by feesharose at 6:46 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Call the domestic violence shelter and work with them regarding options they can provide. They may be able to get you in to your own place. He will behave himself for the time being. Take advantage of that and plan on getting out with DVS help.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:50 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

  • Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233)

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:14 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

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