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Can you talk me down???

Don't tell me I'm pathetic or bash me please. I am fully aware of how silly and petty this is. I just want to get it out there and get talked down.

My husband has two older brothers. The older brothers are twins. He also has two step brothers. One step brother and both twins are married. At family gatherings I always feel like the odd man out when I'm with the women. It's like I'm back in high school and I'm trying to sit at the popular girls table but I don't belong there. The step brother and his wife live far away so we only see them on holidays but the other two are local and they seem to be getting closer to each other all the time. I feel sort of left out and soooo terribly uncool. When I first announced that I was pregnant the two of them sat together after dinner talking about how their lives were too important to have children. Then two months later one of them was expecting. I feel so lame around them!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:58 AM on Aug. 19, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Nothing can make up for character and compassion. If you know who you are, and you are kind, considerate, honest, and giving, they can take nothing away from you. If she is anything other than these things, trust me, her true colors will show. Eventually she will get into it with your other SIL, MIL, or even her husband. Just remain true to yourself and your husband. Personally, I think that she is jealous of you and is trying to bring you down.
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 9:46 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • It does sound like high school, and unfortunately some ppl never leave it. I'm sorry you feel so uncomfortable. Im one of those, when there's too many women I dont feel comfortable with, I go hang out with the guys. I just feel theres less to prove with men. Or go play with the kids! Eventually maybe, they'll realize theres a reason you leave when things start gettin like a hen house. And i'm sorry they made such a wonderful experience for you so little. Maybe when they come over you can plan to have a friend of yours over as well, so you have an accomplice. Good luck!

    AmandaN1

    Answer by AmandaN1 at 9:04 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • you should bring a friend with you or hang out with your hubby.

    my hubby's cousins dont like me at all, so when I think it'll be awkward I just tag along with him, granted that makes them not like me even more because then I am hanging out and having a good time with their SO's but what do they expect, me to mope around them...LOL

    just go be with your man and enjoy him and his family, you dont have to be near them.
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 9:12 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Well the thing is that I DO like them, they're nice most of the time. One of them seems to make comments at me though. I think she's just putting her foot in her mouth though. She has a lot of conflicts with our MIL and Step FIL and I get along really well with them. She said something about how I am not "spunky" and that's why I get along with them. The thing is that I rip on our step FIL all the time, he just thinks it's funny when I do it. Anyway, my point is that she tends to say things about me that make it sound like I am this doting little suck up and it pisses me off. The others don't do that at all. When I'm one on one with any of them things are fine. It's when we're in the group that things get uncomfortable for me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I remember feeling like this when I was first married. My SIL and BIL had been married for about 3 years already so her and my MIL already had a relationship and went shopping every thanksgiving together. I felt like I was intruding on their little party. They invited me to do everything that they did but I never felt like I fit in. I was really young and I guess I just was so insecure that I couldnt get comfortable around them. I felt like the odd man out and I hated being around them. My SIL and I never really got that close. She lived a totally different life than me and we had nothing in common. As time went on and I grew up and developed a relationship with my MIL, I began to feel more comfortable. I really stopped competing with my SIL to see who could buy the best presents and things like that. I decided to let her do it by herself and I wasnt going to be involved. Now Ive been married 14 yrs and we are all good friends
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:30 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • The thing is, they're the twins' wives right? Twins are naturally close to each other, and I would assume they still spend alot of time together. That means they're wives are going to be close too. Imagine how your husband felt growing up and having twin brothers. I'm sure he was left out sometimes too.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 9:31 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I said all that to say this...just give it time and give them time to get used to you. Dont play their head games. They could be trying to make you feel insecure, but you dont have to be involved. Just know youre worthy enough to be in there presence and work to build relationship with them. If they decide that they dont like you then dont bother. Just do your best to befriend them. Good luck.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:31 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Thanks guys!

    I just want to say for the record that I don't think they're trying to put me out of the group or anything like that. They are all very nice people. It's not intentional. I think it's just that they're all very hip, self assured women and I am sort of a dorky little clown. It's all me, it's not really them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 AM on Aug. 19, 2009