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what do i do????

a couple months ago, my husband found texts in my phone to a friend of mine ( thats a guy). he thought that the texts were inappropriate for friends to be sending each other and we had a big argument over the situation and made up......
Now.....i feel like me and this guy are friends, been knowing him since high school, hes married and has a family as well. Yes we do talk or should i say text each other but i only do it when i need someone to talk to and yes sometimes that subject does change to other topics, but i feel like its just a conversation.....i dont actually plan on being with this guy, i just view him as someone to talk to when my husband wont.
Now this has happened again and my husband hasnt said two words to me, we have two kids together and i love him dearly,but i dont know if i have another chance to make it work.......

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:26 AM on Aug. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I'm sorry,wish I could help...but it sounds like you crossed a clearly marked line. Your husband told you how he felt about it the first time it happened. Look at it this way, if the roles were reversed and it were your husband and a woman "friend", would you be less forgiving?
    Good luck; I hope you can work it out and realize your husband is worth more than a few friendly texts with some random guy friend.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:34 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • if you made a promise to not text this guy & then went back on your word, you are in the wrong, even if nothing is going on, you made a promise to your husband, you broke promise and therefore broke trust in your marriage
    my opinion is you should not be reaching out to another man when yours will not talk, it is opening up a can of worms, not saying you are having, thinking of having or ever will have an affair, but you are reaching out to another man when you should be reaching further to your huband, & sometimes you have to let your guy have some room & time in order to communicate, men need their cave at times
    if you need to talk about things, confind in a girlfriend
    if my husband was texting old girlfriend, said he would not & then went back on his word & did behide my back, you bet your ass there would be a silenence in the house, because i would be gone

    help yourself-stop relations with other man

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • They just talked about this on Good Morning America! Bottom line was end the texting with the friend and tell your man that he means enough to you that you'd give up the friendship for him. Personally, I'd keep the friend but that's bc I'm not married.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:47 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • You have got to stop the texts to this friend and you have got to do it now! You have got to do whatever it takes to prove to him that you have stopped this, even if it includes giving him your phone for a bit until you let this pass. My problem with this is that if there are things that you need to talk about....another man is not the person to do it with. Since you have already breached this trust, you cannot even give the appearance of impropriety....not even the appearance. I personally consider this type of thing an emotional affair. You may never ever intend to do anything physically (although you cannot speak for this other man's intentions), but it is a link of the heart. If I were your husband that is the part that would be the most hurtful to me. Get yourself a good girlfriend or a journal to talk to when your husband doesn't want to. Work harder on learning to confide in him and how to talk with him best.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • You remind me of my sister. Bottom line is quit texting him. Obviously you are getting too disrespectful to your husband, and I'm figuring you DO have feelings for this guy even though you won't act on them, you like the attention.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Your husband is right, you shouldn't be talking to this guy. You are going to him for help with your marriage, from what it sounds like, and that is really bad. You may have no feelings for him now, but that could so easily change, especially if you keep confiding in him instead of your husband.

    If you and your husband need help figuring out how to communicate, get into counseling and get help now!

    Answer by feesharose at 10:59 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

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