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Is it ok?

My Daughter is all most 16 she has some mental problems and is delayed some. Some parts of her are like a 5 year old other parts she is a normal teen she has alot of friends and i found out that she has a boyfriend he doesnt have any problems and is a normal teenage boy he is 17 years old. Is it ok for my dauhter to date him i'm not sure if this is ok since she can have the mind of a 5 year old at the time and i don't know if he has her heart in mind or if he is thinking about something else can someone please help.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Aug. 19, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • I would want to talk to this young man...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Okay, well lets put aside the fact that youre not sure of his intentions and thats normal, but lets also put aside that your daugther is special needs and has some delays. Just the meer fact that she is not even 16, should be a sign to you that dating is not okay. I really dont feel 15 is an appropriate age to date one on one. Its simply asking for trouble and I think you should just let her be a kid and not get all into adult situations. Dating is an adult situation. OKay throw back in the fact that shes delayed and may not be able to know when a guy is taking advantage, the fact that hes over a year older and the fact that you dont know what his intentions are....Having all those factors, I would say NO. Give her some time. Being that she is quite immature, she likely needs more time than the regular teen. Its your choice obviously, I just wanted to throw a few things out there. Good luck in whatever you choose.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:09 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Thank you for the answer momofsaee I understand he is reall a year old she will be 16 sep1 and he will be 17 sep5th i talked to him he seem like a nice boy he comes over i watch them they talk and play games
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I would never let them me alone together, I think this has TROUBLE written all over it, you have to understand she feels the sexual feelings of a teenager, but may not have the judgement skills to stop something she does not want to happen. I hope it works out, but I would maybe talk to the boys parents as well. Good luck!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:26 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I'm not going to say what would be the right thing to do, however I would have a nice long chat with this boy. See what his intentions are, if your daughter's best interest (in his eyes) are where they should be, and see if he fully understands your daughter's "mental problems". I don't see why they shouldn't be allowed to have surpervised "dates"... Maybe he could come eat dinner with the family, or do a cookout, or even plan a picnic in which you could include him. I would try to be accepting, but cautious at the same time. I believe your daughter should be allowed to be a teen (dating included), but by your rules. If the boy really cares for your daughter, then I'm sure he'll do whatever he can to see her. good luck
    momma_marian

    Answer by momma_marian at 10:28 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • You know your daughter better than anyone...what you have to think about is the values you instilled in her about her self.. and then you go from there with her dating this boy...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:28 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • If you're worried about him taking advantage of her, require that a chaperone be present for any and all dates they go on. It'll be a little time consuming for you, but you'll be able to watch out for your daughter since she is still young.
    quorleeba

    Answer by quorleeba at 1:11 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • You need to have a long talk with him about her condition. He could very easily take advantage of her.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:30 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Does she hang out with other 'normal' teens? By this question I mean does she go with non-special needs friends to activities, ballgames, shopping, other school events? if she does other mainstream events it is just the next step in her social life, but saying that I would include him in lots of family stuff and outings so you can judge his motives, if it seems healthy for both your dd and him I would allow supervised and group outings if he seems to be out for one thing I would limit thier contact to only when you are with them.
    higherboundmom

    Answer by higherboundmom at 11:19 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • i would say while yes having a talk with him might work, it also might scare him off and make him not want to be with her for whatever reason. And then she would be very unhappy and hurt with you and you dont want that. I would suggest making sure that they hang around your house to get a feel for what his intentions are. If he is ok with just hanging aroudn watching tv and not putting moves on her then I would say he might be ok. IF he is all about well no i want to go on dates and be alone w.her then you know what he is like. Also make sure to talk to her quite often and remind her guys can sometimes be after only 1 thing and remind her she can talk to you about anything so she feels comfotable telling you if he does try to put a move on her or anything like that. I would say stay away from chatting w.him until you know which type he is. GL
    OliviasMommy614

    Answer by OliviasMommy614 at 3:07 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

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